Everyone has emotions. There are pleasant emotions, such as joy or happiness. There are also emotions that are difficult to deal with, such as fear, anger, or sadness. When dealing with anger, depression, or disappointment, you must have good skills to deal with short-lived or prolonged emotional problems.
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Method 1 of 2: Coping With Hard-to-Identify Emotions
Step 1. Recognize the emotion you are feeling
Identifying certain emotions is sometimes more difficult than you might think. If you can't, start with the four basic categories of emotions: anxiety, sadness, anger, or happiness. Once you can pinpoint exactly what you're feeling, try to find the cause so you can control your emotions. Although they differ in intensity, emotions can be divided into the following groups:
- Anxiety usually comes in the form of “what if” questions. What if they don't like me? What if I get rejected? And another question.
- Sadness tends to arise when we focus on things that cannot be changed, such as death or loss.
- Anger is a response to an attack, for example because there is an attack on the values we believe in.
- Happiness is a positive thought that arises because we get something, for example a compliment from a friend or an award in the form of a job promotion.
Step 2. Practice relaxation techniques by practicing breathing
One of the techniques commonly used to overcome negative emotions is called coping methods. This technique can help you deal with emotional responses by focusing on something else you can control, such as your breath. Research has shown that practicing breathing has a positive impact on the response to stress, also known as the "fight or flight" response.
- For example, one easy breathing technique is to inhale for a count of five, hold your breath for a count of five, and exhale for a count of five. Focus your mind as you practice.
- Another way to focus on the breath is to use an uninflated balloon. Inflate the balloon and watch as it deflates.
Step 3. Practice self-soothing techniques
This technique is done by focusing your mind on something other than the negative emotion you are currently feeling. One specific example is the technique of activating the five senses to improve thinking patterns. Sit comfortably and focus on the breath. Direct your attention to the specific sensation experienced by each of the five senses for one minute according to the following guidelines:
- Hearing: What sounds do you hear around you? Focus on outside noises, such as cars passing by, people talking, or birds chirping. After that, focus on the sounds inside, such as the sound of your breath or the sound of your digestion. As long as you're focused on listening, are there sounds that weren't heard before?
- Smell: What scent do you smell? Is there food near you? Or, maybe there are flowers in the yard? You may be able to recognize odors you haven't smelled before, such as the smell of paper in the textbook next to you. Visual distractions will decrease if you close your eyes.
- Vision: What do you see? Pay close attention to each color, pattern, shape, and texture. Find color variations in objects you see often, but haven't seen before.
- Tasting: What do you taste? Even if there is no food in your mouth, you can still recognize the taste. Re-discover the taste of a drink or food you just enjoyed. Rub your tongue against your teeth or cheeks to make it easier to feel.
- Touch: How do you feel while sitting? Feel the sensation that appears on your skin as it comes into contact with clothes, chairs, or the floor. Observe the texture of the shirt or chair with your fingers while focusing on the touch you feel.
Step 4. Perform progressive muscle relaxation
This relaxation is one of the techniques in the coping method which is done by tightening and relaxing certain muscle groups. Progressive muscle relaxation makes you more aware of the physical sensations you feel throughout your body. Relax starting from your toes and work your way up to the other muscle groups all the way to your head.
- Tense each muscle group for five seconds and then relax slowly for thirty seconds.
- Use imagination during the relaxation process. For example, imagine that you are eating a sour orange when relaxation reaches your face to tighten your facial muscles and then imagine that you eat a sweet candy to relax it.
Step 5. Do meditation or pray.
Meditation has been shown to help you experience positive emotions, contentment, good health, and happiness. In addition, meditation also reduces anxiety, stress, and depression. There are many ways to meditate, but all of them can calm the mind.
Sit in a comfortable position. Focus on a specific thing, such as the fire of a candle, saying a prayer over and over again, or counting the beads of the rosary. While concentrating, your mind will wander. Just ignore the thought and focus your attention on what you were focusing on. This technique seems easy to do, but focusing the mind is difficult. Don't be disappointed if at first you can only concentrate for a few minutes
Step 6. Try to free yourself from negative thoughts
Many people find it helpful to write down the negative emotions they feel. The physical act of throwing away the paper with negative emotions on it can take it away mentally. Although symbolic, controlled actions that involve physical activity can help you let go of negative emotions.
Step 7. Use positive imagination
An easy way to interrupt negative thoughts is to imagine positive things, especially if you want to get rid of memories that are causing emotional problems. Start by remembering or imagining a positive or calming image, perhaps a memory or a beautiful place. Think of a moment/atmosphere/place in a particular location that made you feel calm and happy.
- Try to remember this memory or place in detail. Focus on activating all five senses while imagining this positive feeling place. What you hear, smell, feel, etc.
- Many people find it easier to relive certain moments by keeping photos or pictures (physically) in their wallet or purse.
Step 8. Talk to a friend
Being alone while feeling sadness or emotional suffering makes you even more emotional. Call a good friend who can help you. Any emotion can be contagious, including happiness. Maybe all you need is a positive friend to make you feel more comfortable.
Method 2 of 2: Coping with Emotional Problems for the Long-Term
Step 1. Write a journal
Many people are able to recognize and deal with negative emotions by journaling. Sometimes, emotions are difficult simply because they are difficult to express. Write down what happened, how you felt, the duration and how severe the emotion was. Even if you're just starting to write down your thoughts in a sentence, you're usually already in the process of dealing with emotional problems.
Step 2. Identify the source of your negative emotions
Once you start journaling about your emotions, you can discover patterns of causes that you didn't know about. Try to find out what's causing each negative emotion you're feeling. Once you know the cause, ask yourself if you would like to make a change by eliminating the cause or reducing its effect.
Step 3. Challenge the negative thoughts that arise
People tend to give up easily when dealing with negative emotions and prefer to think negatively about their emotions. By being aware of and questioning these thoughts, you can identify reactions to negative thoughts that often exacerbate negative emotions. The process of questioning and correcting the mind takes time and patience, but start by asking yourself:
- Are your thoughts correct?
- If so, what are the supporting facts?
- What is your reaction to these negative thoughts?
- What effect will it have on your actions and behavior if you don't think negatively?
Step 4. Use a thought-interrupting technique
Once you understand how to question negative thoughts, begin to recognize the patterns in which negative thoughts form. This way, you can interrupt the cycle of negative thoughts and replace them with more positive or productive thoughts.
Begin with a verbal interruption (such as telling yourself to forget about it) or with a physical reminder (such as wearing a rubber band on your wrist) when you become aware of a negative thought. This way you can stop negative thoughts by recognizing them when they arise
Step 5. Sublimate negative emotions
Do activities that you enjoy when experiencing negative emotions. Sublimation is a way of channeling negative emotions through creative and artistic activities. Negative emotions require a lot of energy. Channel that energy by working, using skills, and doing other positive activities to deal with negative emotions in useful ways.
Step 6. Ask for help from people who support you
Don't live life alone. Talking to people who make you feel comfortable will ease your negative emotions and overcome the negative thoughts you are dealing with. They can also provide solutions or suggest ways to solve problems that you haven't found yet. Covering up problems always creates more problems, rather than finding solutions. Seek support from a good friend, lover, relative, therapist, or professional counselor, if other means don't help.
Step 7. Consult a professional therapist or counselor
If the prolonged stress of dealing with negative emotions makes you feel isolated and depressed, it's a good idea to consult a therapist or professional counselor. This can be an alternative if you're experiencing negative emotions for some reason that you don't want to tell your friends and family members. The therapist will listen to you with understanding, provide helpful advice, and other means or ways to help you.
If you need medication for emotional problems, a counselor can prescribe medication or refer you to someone in authority
Tips
- Find a comfortable and quiet place to relax at home, for example in your bedroom, study, or family room.
- Do activities outside the home on a regular basis. Social interaction is a great way to deal with negative emotions.
