Want to cheer up a friend who needs support, but don't know how? There are times when you want to give support to a friend who has just broken up, is suffering from severe depression, or wants to lose weight to keep him or her energized. For that, learn the right way to provide support so that the person being helped does not feel disturbed. Usually, your presence and attention is enough to excite him.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Encouraging a Friend Who Is In Trouble
Step 1. Try to contact him
When you hear that someone you know is going through a problem or crisis, maybe he's recently divorced, broken up, is grieving, or is sick, try to contact him as soon as possible. People who are going through difficulties or difficulties tend to feel isolated.
- If he is out of town or difficult to find, contact him by phone, email or WA.
- You don't have to explain that you know he's having a problem. The attention, greeting, and support you provide can encourage people who are facing difficulties.
- You can see him, but don't come without telling him first. This is very useful if he is sick so he can not leave the house.
Step 2. Listen to what he has to say without judging
Under certain conditions, many people want to share things they experience or share their feelings, especially those who are facing a crisis. You may have an opinion on a problem he's having, but you don't need to give your opinion or advice, especially if it's not asked for.
- Focus on your friend so they know you can be counted on so they can stay energized throughout the recovery process.
- If you have experienced the same problem, take advantage of this experience to provide advice or advice.
- Let him know that you can offer advice or advice. However, don't be surprised if he refuses.
Step 3. Offer help in the form of concrete actions
Instead of giving advice, you should give him the help he really needs. For people who are having a hard time, this step is very useful even if you are only doing small things.
Provide assistance with daily activities, such as buying groceries, cleaning the house, or feeding pets. These activities usually stop immediately when someone's life is constrained
Step 4. Let him recover his feelings in his own way
Emotions affected by major changes in daily life (due to illness, the death of a loved one, divorce, or separation) are usually very unstable. Yesterday, he could accept the situation, but today, he was sad again.
- Don't tell him, "Yesterday you seemed fine. What's wrong?" or "How long have you been like this?"
- Control the discomfort when he is upset or sad. Dealing with people who vent negative emotions is not easy, especially when you interact with the people closest to you. Remember that he is venting his emotions because he is going through a crisis, not because of you. Let him feel free to express his feelings when he is with you.
Step 5. Be a supportive friend
Show him that you are willing to help and provide support. While it's best to have a few people to support you so you don't carry the burden alone, try to be a good supporter.
- Let him know that he's not burdening you, for example by saying, "If you're upset or stressed, give me a call! I'm here to help."
- This step is especially useful for people who have recently broken up or divorced. If they want to chat with their ex-boyfriend/spouse, a supportive friend is the one to call.
Step 6. Encourage your friend to keep his primary needs met
When faced with life's difficulties, such as illness, grief, etc., many people tend to neglect their primary needs so they forget their meal schedule, don't care about appearance, and are reluctant to leave the house.
- Remind friends to keep taking care of themselves, for example taking a shower twice a day and exercising regularly. To make your support even more useful, take her for a walk a few times a week or a coffee in the cafeteria to keep her looking good.
- So that he will eat, bring food for him. So, he does not need to cook and wash dishes. Alternatively, invite him to eat at a restaurant or order food if he doesn't want/can travel.
Step 7. Don't make your friend feel helpless
Many people have good intentions when it comes to providing support for a friend who is having a hard time, but it can sometimes leave the person being helped feeling depressed, even helpless. Remember that divorce, illness, or grief can make people feel hopeless.
- Give a choice. When taking a friend out to a restaurant, let him decide when and where he wants to eat. This way, he gets the chance to make a decision. Even if it's just determining small things, this step can restore confidence.
- Don't spend a lot of money on it. You can take her for a manicure at an inexpensive salon, but she'll feel in debt if you spend a lot of money on her. In addition, you make him feel unable to take care of himself.
Step 8. Watch yourself
When a friend goes through a crisis, your feelings are usually affected, especially if you've been through the same problem.
- Apply limits. Maybe you want to continue to be with a friend who is going through a difficult time, but don't let this take your life.
- Find out which behaviors and situations can trigger triggers. If you're providing support to a friend who ran away from home because of a domestic violence case and you've been through the same thing, don't get too involved.
Step 9. Continue to communicate with him
Many people tend to care deeply for a friend who is having a hard time, but forget about it after a while. Don't act like this. Interact regularly by asking how he's doing so he knows you're available if he needs help.
Method 2 of 3: Cheering Up a Friend Who Is Depressed
Step 1. Know the symptoms of depression
Remember that people who are facing adversity are not necessarily depressed. However, if your friend is showing symptoms of depression, make sure he or she gets help so that the depression doesn't get worse.
- Does he always look sad, worried, or apathetic? Does he seem hopeless or pessimistic (things won't get better, my life is a mess)?
- Does he often feel guilty, worthless, or powerless? Is he always tired and lack of energy? Does he have trouble concentrating, remembering things, or making decisions?
- Does he have insomnia or have trouble getting up in the morning? Has he become very thin or very fat? Is he often upset and angry?
- Has he ever said or often discussed death or suicide? Has he ever made an attempt or said he wanted to kill himself? If he had, his wish was to explain why he said his life was not going to get any better.
Step 2. Show empathy for her grief, but don't keep talking about it
Remember that sadness, pessimism, and feelings of helplessness are real. Try to understand that he is feeling negative emotions and then turn his attention to something else.
- You don't have to try hard to distract them, because people with depression tend to be easily distracted. For example, when the two of you are walking on the beach, you can change the subject by simply pointing out the beautiful reflection of the sun in the water or the color of the sky.
- Discussing negative emotions constantly makes things worse because people with depression will continue to experience negative conditions.
Step 3. Don't be offended when you help a friend who is depressed
People with depression usually have difficulty establishing emotional relationships with other people because of the problems they are experiencing. He will find it more difficult to socialize if his behavior hurts you.
- Sometimes, people with depression have difficulty controlling their emotions, so they get angry easily or say harsh words. Remember that he is doing this out of depression, not out of his own will.
- Don't let him treat you as he pleases. If he is being rude because of depression, he needs to see a therapist because you may not be able to help him. Let him know that you will support him if he doesn't act arbitrarily.
Step 4. Don't underestimate the serious effects of depression
Depression is often caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the brain. Instead of just feeling sad or upset, people with depression tend to be helpless because they feel hopeless or worthless.
Don't advise your friends by saying, "Forget it" or "You'll live a happy life if you practice yoga, lose weight, socialize, and so on." In addition to making him feel guilty and uncomfortable about what he's going through, this will keep him from relying on you
Step 5. Help by doing little things
Depression makes simple activities difficult, such as cleaning the house, washing dishes, and going to work. Lightening the load by doing small things can have a huge impact on people with depression.
- People with depression spend a lot of energy to overcome mental disorders that take up their entire life so that they are unable to carry out daily activities.
- Every now and then, bring him a dinner he likes, help him clean his house, or offer to take care of a pet.
Step 6. Be an empathetic listener
Depression is not easy to treat. Helping a friend by being a good listener is more helpful than giving advice or opinions about a problem he or she is experiencing.
- To start a conversation, you can say: "I've been thinking a lot about how you've been lately" or "I wanted to talk to you. You've been feeling down a lot lately."
- If he can't express his feelings or open up, ask him: "What happened to make you feel down so often?" or "Since when have you felt this way?"
- To encourage him, tell him: "Don't worry. I'm here to help" or "I understand your situation. I will help you overcome any difficulties" or "You and your life are very important to me."
Step 7. Remember that you are not a therapist
Even if you are a trained therapist, don't treat friends, especially outside of working hours. Accompanying someone who is depressed and listening to their complaints doesn't mean you have to take responsibility for their mental state.
If he often calls you in the middle of the night while you're fast asleep, says he's suicidal, or has been gloomy for years, he needs to see a therapist
Step 8. Invite a friend to find a professional therapist
You can give your friend encouragement and support, but you can't give them the professional therapy they need and deal with depression with just good intentions. If you really want to help him, suggest that he consult a therapist even though this conversation may not be very pleasant.
- Ask his opinion about options for professional therapy to restore mental health.
- Recommend a good professional therapist if you know one or seek information on this if needed.
Step 9. Recognize that depression can recur
Depression is not a disease that can be cured by taking medication (eg strep throat). People with depression may have to struggle for life even if they get the right treatment.
Don't stop helping him. Depression makes the sufferer feel very lonely and isolated, even feeling like he is insane, but he will feel stronger if there is support
Step 10. Apply restrictions
Even if you want to help your friend get out of trouble, don't neglect yourself when you offer support.
- Make sure you keep an eye on yourself. Once in a while, avoid interacting with friends who are depressed. Spend time with people who are positive and don't need the support of others.
- Remember, an unreciprocal relationship with a depressed friend can lead to abusive and selfish treatment. Don't get involved in this kind of relationship.
Method 3 of 3: Cheering on a Friend Who Wants to Lose Weight
Step 1. Don't tell a friend to lose weight
You have no right to control other people because you only have to manage yourself. Advising a friend to lose weight is rude behavior and can damage friendships. Let others make their own decisions and determine what is best for themselves.
This still applies even though his weight causes health problems. Maybe he already knows the problem and he will do something if he wants to solve it
Step 2. Provide support if he starts to lose weight
People who want to lose weight usually need support from friends. If he wants to share his plans with you, find out what diet and exercise program he will be following.
- Make a commitment to exercise together. Tell him that you want to accompany him on a bike ride or run every afternoon. Give encouragement by inviting him to train at the gym.
- Eat the food he prepares or the diet menu so he doesn't feel isolated because he has to diet.
Step 3. Focus on the things he does well
You are not responsible for monitoring other people's lives. If he doesn't ask for it, don't find out about his activities, diet, weight, etc. You are not a watchdog of people who are dieting. Don't monitor other people's lives because you only need to provide support and encouragement.
- Praise him for his progress and success.
- Don't criticize another person if he or she does something wrong. You have no right to reprimand a friend if he or she eats fast food or refuses to exercise.
Step 4. Celebrate the success
Take time to celebrate his success if he is able to lose the weight he is aiming for or if he wants to increase the intensity of his workout. Make sure the celebration is not about enjoying the food and not focused on the food.
Take her to a movie, buy her a pedicure, or give her a favorite book she hasn't had time to buy yet
Step 5. Pay attention to the person, not the diet program
When chatting with friends, don't focus on diet, weight, or exercise that you don't do. Instead, ask how he is, his activities at school or work, his pets.
Whether he succeeds or fails to lose weight, he is still your friend. His daily life is not just taking care of food and exercising to lose weight
Step 6. Don't be overly nice
When someone needs support, you don't have to give a bunch of "useful" suggestions for improvement, explain an exercise program, and give out books on how to lose weight.
It's a good idea to ask him what he needs and provide support, rather than doing something useless
Tips
- Don't use judgmental words when you're cheering up a friend who's going through trouble, is depressed, or is losing weight. You irritate him if you say, "You should be more discreet" or "You won't get depressed because you have to lose weight if you eat a healthy diet."
- The evenings are the most difficult times for people who are having problems or need encouragement. Be prepared to support them.
