Social media affects relationships and the ending of those relationships. If you're still inundated with photos of your ex on sites like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat, it's going to be hard to get past the "peaceful" ending of a relationship and avoid your ex. You might even peek at his profile to find out how he's doing and what he's doing. However, this action is actually not good for health and worsens the inner hurt that is felt. Fortunately, by limiting contact through social media and diverting your attention to other things, you can prevent yourself from stalking your ex on social media.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Restricting Contact Through Social Media
Step 1. Realize that the urge to peek and stalk on social media is natural, but painful
You may feel that "checking in on her" via social media is like stalking her, but it's actually normal to see this behavior after a breakup. You may want to find out who he's with and what he's doing in the hope that he's just as hurt as you are. However, this behavior actually forms a bad habit of using social media because you expect "consolation" which actually makes you feel even worse.
Keep in mind that if you use social media to find out where he is and go after him, you are actually stalking him and doing so is illegal. If you feel like doing it, you may need professional treatment
Step 2. Block him on all social media sites
The vast world of social media sites like Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram provides a great opportunity for people to see the lives of other people-including people you don't want to meet. Blocking him from social media sites is probably the most extreme measure that prevents you from stalking him. However, this step is also the most effective option.
- Be prepared when your ex or other friends who know you both question your actions. Your decision can hurt your ex or even other friends. However, explain that the hurt you are feeling is too painful and that it was the best decision for you, and that you had no intention of hurting anyone.
- One of the other advantages you get when you block someone is that you usually need to follow or re-add them as a friend. In the end, you may be reluctant to re-add them as a friend or follow them because of the embarrassment that comes when you have to resubmit a friend request to know how they're doing.
Step 3. Delete him as a friend or unfollow him
Another “lighter” step to prevent the urge to stalk your ex is to remove them from your friends list or unfollow them on social media. Thus, you cannot access the site or its profile. You can also limit the things that can be known about his life, and reduce any feelings or hurt that exists.
Just like when you block his profile, be prepared to face a variety of questions asked. You can use a similar explanation, such as “Honestly, I need to calm down. Maybe I'll come back to it in the future. For now, I don't want to see or know anything about him."
Step 4. Limit “presence” on newsfeed pages
If you're worried that blocking his profile will hurt him or encourage others to question your actions, simply limit what you can see on social media. You can unfollow his posts or turn off features that tell you what he's doing or what he's doing. Some social media sites like Facebook will even automatically ask you to limit your exposure to your ex's posts when you change your relationship status information.
Step 5. Unfollow the feeds of friends who also know them
Your ex may appear in status updates, location updates, and photos that friends upload to social media sites, depending on your existing network of friends. His appearance can make you feel upset, especially if it turns out that he already has a new partner or feels happy without you. So that you don't have to see their name or photo, try unfollowing the social media feeds of some mutual friends and/or close friends.
- Make excuses for things you're missing if you don't want him to find out that you've unfollowed his newsfeed. If he mentions something that was uploaded, simply say, "Wow, I must have never seen it" or "I only saw it briefly because I didn't notice until I got to the office."
- Try to tell the situation honestly with friends who also know him. You could say, “I'm sorry but I was so hurt when I saw his face in your post. I really value our friendship and I know he does too. However, for now I just want to know how you are without going through social media.”
Step 6. Practice self-control
Over time, you may be tempted to search for your ex on social media and search engines. One seemingly mundane search or discovery can actually leave you awake all night and questioning things (eg whether someone who liked your ex's latest profile picture was his brother or his girlfriend). Remind yourself that it would be best if you avoid his profile and presence on the internet so you can process the end of the relationship and find peace. In these situations, self-control can give you more control over yourself and how you feel.
Step 7. Delete his contact information from the device
Some smartphones, tablets, and other devices associate phone numbers stored in your contacts list with appropriate social media accounts. To avoid stalking your ex on social media, try deleting their contact information from your device. In addition to preventing you from looking for him when you're "weak" and missing him, this will also remove any reminders about him that might pop up.
Write down their contact information on a piece of paper in case you need to contact them at any time. This way, you won't be reminded of him every day and can avoid the temptation to search for his social media profiles. Store the paper in a safe place
Part 2 of 2: Distract from him
Step 1. Remember what caused the relationship to end
If you're tempted to visit their social media pages, grab a piece of paper and write down the things that caused your previous relationship to fail. This way, you won't jump to conclusions and yearn for a relationship that might otherwise be unhealthy.
Step 2. Don't mention or talk about it
Sometimes, romantic relationships are passionate and a partner can be an important part of life. In relationships, it's natural to mention your partner and even then, you may still want to talk about them after the relationship ends. However, it will actually remind you of him and make you find out about him. When you're consciously able to hold yourself back and not talk about your ex, you can take your mind off everything about them.
- Remember that it's natural for you to occasionally mention or talk about your ex-especially about the good times. If you avoid the topic when chatting with other friends, everyone present may feel awkward. If you really need to talk about it as a way to process your feelings, then do so. However, make sure you don't make it a habit.
- Ask other friends not to talk about your ex when they meet you. Their stories can remind you of them and encourage you to find out more on social media. In certain situations, your ex may be mentioned or discussed, especially by friends who also know him or her. In this situation, stay away from the chat until a new topic is discussed.
Step 3. Rely on the support network
You may feel sad and hurt after the relationship ends. However, this situation can be a good opportunity to depend on and reconnect with family and friends. They can distract you and provide the support you need-even “confiscate” your device so you can't follow your ex on social media.
Try to be open to those who provide support about how you feel. You can let your friends and family know that you're still following your ex on social media. They can listen and give you advice, or remind you that any story about them can actually hurt you. In addition, they can also invite you to do activities to distract yourself from your feelings and social media
Step 4. Enjoy time for yourself
Forgetting a failed relationship sometimes takes a long time. However, by focusing on yourself, you can take your mind off everything about it. Do activities that you couldn't do with him before so that you realize that you don't care what he's doing, and that you no longer have feelings for him.
- Try enjoying a massage or taking a yoga class so you can focus on yourself and relax. Spend time reading books that have not been completed with your ex.
- Try new activities that he doesn't do. These activities can prevent you from checking social media profiles and rekindle old wounds. For example, in the past you might have wanted to learn to cook, but your ex didn't approve of that. To take a cooking class and master some of the menus, you will need to spend a lot of time. Thus, there is no time left to stalk the ex on social media.
Step 5. Get to know new people
Give yourself a chance to take your mind off your ex and other friends who also know him by meeting new people. You can enjoy time with new friends and acquaintances so you forget to stalk your ex on social media.
- Meet new people while trying new activities or by joining groups of activities that interest you. For example, you could join a running club or visit a new cafe/bar during discount hours. Group activities also provide a good opportunity to meet new people and distract yourself from your ex.
- Throw a tantrum on a new person you meet. You may not be ready to date yet, but small, "harmless" flirting can boost your confidence and distract you from your ex.
Tips
- Try deactivating or deleting your social media accounts if stalking your ex is a serious problem for you.
- Ask yourself this question, “Is this true? What benefits can I get? Do my habits actually harm myself or others?” If you frequently stalk someone in real life and really care about them, the best way to show that love and care is to stop stalking them. Unconsciously, you actually destroy or damage his mind with the actions that have been done. Your willingness to stop stalking or finding out everything about him means that you are ready to let him go as long as he can lead a happy life. It is a sign of real love and care.
