If you want to be a better person, you have to start by improving yourself. It takes a lot of introspection and self-improvement before you can interact with others in a friendly and compassionate manner. If you want to be admired, improve yourself and reach the hearts of others with love and compassion.
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Part 1 of 2: Improving Yourself
Step 1. Study your good qualities
What makes someone a good person? Everyone has a different opinion on what makes someone good, but there are some behaviors that are generally considered to be good people. Make a list of qualities in yourself that you want to develop in order to become a role model.
- You might say someone is good because they have integrity, dependability, and honesty.
- There are also people who see the virtues of humility, generosity, and sincerity.
- The ability to empathize with others and not judge others is another characteristic of good people.
Step 2. Avoid seeking approval from others
There's nothing wrong with trying to be a good person. However, it is not good if you change yourself just to be famous. You can't please everyone. Try to be a good person for your own good, not for the sake of impressing others.
- If your goal of changing yourself is triggered by what other people think of you, it's very easy to lose focus. You may be trying to live up to the expectations of others, instead of doing the right thing.
- Even so, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be a role model for others, especially children. If you have children, the values you reflect will leave an imprint on your child.
Step 3. Be sincere
Sincere means you say the things you really think and do things according to what you say. People admire someone who is sincere because that person doesn't pretend to be someone else, and his words are trusted.
- To be more sincere, see if you live up to the values you believe in. For example, if you value environmental protection, does your lifestyle reflect that? Taking actions such as recycling, hitchhiking, saving water, etc. are ways you can live up to the values you believe in, which is the importance of protecting the environment.
- Accept yourself completely. Everyone has advantages and disadvantages. Everyone has to face his mistakes and see no results from his first attempt. One does not have to be perfect to be good. Someone who is sincere does not matter if he has to admit that he has weaknesses and strengths. He also does not mind if he has to try several times before finally succeeding.
- Don't judge the people around you. A sincere person is less likely to compare himself to others, or to standards outside himself. Someone who is truly sincere accepts other people as they are. Avoid judging friends, family members, and coworkers.
Step 4. Develop self-confidence
Acknowledge your strengths and celebrate success. Feeling good about yourself is the key to being a good and admired person. People tend to admire someone who has reasonable self-confidence, and it's easier to think of others if your mind isn't filled with worries about your own shortcomings.
- If you feel insecure, do activities that make you proud of yourself. For example, if you are a good listener, you could volunteer at the home and spend time talking to the residents. You can feel better because you've managed to do something that matches your skills.
- Speak to yourself in a positive tone. When faced with a challenge, say to yourself, "I can do it." When you succeed in doing something, congratulate yourself.
- Boosting self-confidence can sometimes be difficult, especially if you already have a mental disorder that affects your perception of yourself. If that's the case, consider going to a therapist or counselor to discuss a solution to the problem. You can get a therapist referral from your GP or look online through your insurance company to see which therapist or private counselor accepts your insurance. If you are still in school or college, you may be able to get a free or discounted consultation through your school or college.
Step 5. Resist negative impulses
It's okay if you have negative feelings from time to time. However, you must learn how to deal with these negative feelings in a constructive way. Otherwise, these negative feelings will have an impact on your behavior. You can do this by doing emotion regulation, which is one way of processing emotions, so you can handle emotions in a healthy way.
- Emotion regulation is a step-by-step process. First, admit that you are feeling angry or some other negative emotion. Be aware of your feelings and give them a name. Think about what caused the feeling. Take some time to evaluate your response to these feelings and how you coped with them. Finally, select the appropriate action to take.
- Taking the time to digest your emotions in this way will give you the opportunity to express them in a healthy way, instead of venting them with impulsive reactions. For example, suppose your daughter comes home after curfew. Instead of yelling at him angrily, take time to process your anger and determine what action to take, such as scheduling time to discuss it the next day.
- Sometimes past trauma and violence create emotional patterns that can hinder the process of emotion regulation. You may vent from time to time emotions that affect those around you. Try to distract yourself to calm down, then, talk to yourself productively, like, “It's okay, it's just bad luck. Sometimes it is. It will be better tomorrow." Maybe it's also a good idea to explain your situation to people around you, "I'm having bad luck, so it's stressful and upsetting. I want to go first to calm down, then we'll talk when I'm not annoyed."
- Forgiveness is important if you want to be a good person. Forgiving others and yourself for past mistakes can stop feelings of regret, doubt, and anger that might be affecting your current behavior.
- If you find it difficult to forgive and tend to hold grudges, talk to a therapist to discuss ways to let go of past regrets. Yoga, which emphasizes living in the present in a spiritual sense, can help you learn to forgive.
Step 6. Correct behavior that could hurt others
Review the people you are in a relationship with today and be honest. Is there something in your life that affects your relationships with other people? How do you fix it?
- Take care of your mental health. It's hard to be kind to others when you're struggling to take care of yourself. If you have depression, anxiety, or other mental problems, seek help from a trained psychiatrist. Having a stable psyche can help you become a better person to those around you.
- Deal with your addiction. Addiction can be physical (smoking, drinking, narcotics) or emotional (video games, internet). Either way, it can be difficult to build a meaningful relationship and become someone you respect and admire if you're battling an addiction. There are various forms of online self-assessment to check whether you are showing symptoms of addiction or not. If you do have certain addictions, you should seek help from a therapist. There are also rehab centers scattered across the country that can help you fight addiction.
- Take care of your stress levels. If you are a person who gets stressed easily, you may be influencing the people around you without even realizing it. If you are concerned about your own problems and issues, you may inadvertently ignore or underestimate the needs of others. Meditation, therapy, regular exercise, and consulting with a therapist or counselor can help you manage stress levels.
Part 2 of 2: Interacting with Others
Step 1. Develop charismatic traits
For people to think of you as a role model, charisma is important. Develop speaking, listening, and storytelling skills to become more charismatic and likable.
- To be a good listener, do active listening. Instead of thinking about how you would respond to someone, listen carefully to the person and pay attention when he or she speaks. Encourage them by nodding and asking questions.
- Try to be aware of the latest things around you. People tend to be amazed by someone who is always upfront and knowledgeable. Read newspapers, magazines, and online journals. Follow the latest news. You don't have to have strong political views, but knowing a little about current conversations is important in order to appear charismatic.
- Use gestures to reflect confidence. Maintain eye contact with others. Stand up straight. Nod and respond to other people's words to convey interest and understanding. In conversation, ask the other person. People are attracted to someone who is genuinely interested in the things around them.
- Practice good storytelling. People tend to admire someone who can tell a good story, so try to cheer others up with a funny personal anecdote. You can listen to radio shows to help you know how to tell a good story.
Step 2. Be honest and firm
In other words, express your true feelings, instead of being sweet and hiding your true feelings. This is a way to get people to trust you. Being direct and honest with the people around you will make you a better and more admired person.
- Practice being honest with others about your actions, even if you do. For example, if you miss a deadline at work, don't make excuses for lack of sleep, stress, or other things. Just admit it and say, “I wasn't paying attention and screwed up. I'll work harder next time."
- Telling the truth even if it hurts other people's feelings isn't always easy, but there are ways to do it without hurting the other person. Structure your feedback in a positive way. For example, if someone asks you what you think about a new t-shirt that you find unattractive, you might say, “That's not the best t-shirt of yours in my opinion. How about I show you the shirt I like the most for you?"
- However, don't give advice if it's not asked for. This will usually sound patronizing and people don't like it. Especially when dealing with sensitive issues, such as someone's weight, job, or relationship, it's best not to express your opinion unless specifically asked.
Step 3. Donate
Being generous with friends and family members is a great way to be admired and become a better person. Such seemingly trivial acts of kindness have a big impact.
- If you are invited to a social gathering, bring something to eat or drink together. A snack or drink will show the social gathering organizer that you appreciate the invitation. Even if you know that the food is already available, it can't hurt to bring another dish.
- When traveling with friends, offer to buy a drink or be a non-drinking driver.
- If you have a friend having a tiring day, making a small gift, such as a homemade card or cake, can help lighten the load.
- Giving doesn't always have to be physical. You can give your time to people. For example, take an hour to visit a friend at the hospital or stop by a family member's house if that person's relationship recently ended. Sometimes, the positive energy of the other person's presence alone helps.
Step 4. Contribute to the environment
Lastly, being a good person must transcend the boundaries of close friends. Find ways to contribute to the environment.
- Volunteering is a great way to contribute to the environment. Find a move that excites you and join it. For example, if you enjoy reading, volunteer to read to children or the elderly at a hospital, nursing home, or daycare center. If you like animals, find out if your local animal shelter needs volunteer workers.
- Donating money can also help, but you can do more with a fundraiser. Offer to contact donors at past social events on behalf of the movement organization that inspired you. Take part in fundraising activities such as charity dinners, auctions, marathons, and other events.
- You can also offer assistance on a smaller scale. Pay attention to the environment around where you live. If there are seniors, offer to clean the yard or mop the garage during the rainy season. If a neighbor has small children, offer free babysitting services once in a while. If there is a bereavement in your neighborhood, stop by with a home-made meal to help lift their burden during the bereavement period.
