For most young women, finding a man her age who is mature and classy enough to be her partner can be difficult. While dating someone older can be an exciting experience, the older "candidate" may want more than just a girl your age. Due to the age gap between the two of you, attracting the attention of an older man can be tricky.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Considering Reasons for Dating
Step 1. Ask yourself why you want an older lover
There are many reasons why you might want to be in a relationship with a man who is older than you. We often see older people as more intelligent and mature. However, keep in mind that this is not always the case. Some older men are sometimes immature (and unchanging).
Step 2. Make sure you want to be in a relationship for the right reasons
A relationship is lived or continued when you feel the right relationship with your partner. There's no point in dating an older guy because you think it makes you look cooler. Before committing to a relationship, make sure you are ready to live it. This is important to remember, especially if you want to date a man who is older than you.
Step 3. Think about the impact the age difference has on the relationship
If the two parties to the relationship are of different ages, there is a possibility that communication problems may arise. For example, if you want to go to a party with your (older) boyfriend, he may actually have been "satisfied" with having fun in his youth and is currently enjoying a night out at home. In some situations, both of you may find it difficult to strike a balance in the relationship when one party has more life experience than the other. Therefore, keep these kinds of problems in mind in your relationship before you commit.
On the other hand, there are some people who feel that age means nothing. There are no clear reasons or rules that prevent people of different ages from forming deep and meaningful relationships
Step 4. Prepare for criticism
If there's a big age gap between you and your boyfriend, there's usually a lot of issues you usually don't need to think about that you have to deal with. Even when your relationship feels perfect, others can be compelled to make negative assumptions about relationships with a large age gap. There is much you can do to refute what they say. After all, the relationship you're in is yours, not theirs, and you don't have to think about their feelings or views.
If you are under 18, you need to consider the legal consequences that could be imposed on someone older than you. If the age gap is large enough to make sexual intercourse illegal, it's a good idea to discontinue the relationship
Part 2 of 4: Interacting With Him
Step 1. Be his friend first
When trying to make someone your lover, you must first become his friend before the seeds of love begin to grow. Make sure you spend a lot of time with him. Take him for a walk or spend time with him, as you usually do with your other friends. If there's an attraction and you're both emotionally ready and open to a relationship, there's a chance that the relationship and the feelings that arise can develop. However, for now try to enjoy time with him as a friend.
Step 2. Let him lead
Since he has more life experience, he is likely to be the one to lead or start something, unless he is really shy. Some men can be very uncomfortable with a woman who is too eager to get started, especially if she is younger than him.
If he still seems shy, it's a good idea to get started and make a choice. You need to do this when he's already showing signs of interest, but hasn't been honest about his feelings after you've been out with him a few times
Step 3. Treat her like someone who is your equal or equal
This may be difficult for some women who want to attract the attention of an older man. Even if your instincts tell you to be submissive to him, it only emphasizes your age (and your age gap with him). Instead, try to ignore the age gap and show equality when you talk to him. If you feel more comfortable, just assume he is the same age as you. To run smoothly, a relationship usually requires a balance between the two parties involved.
Step 4. Keep an eye on him
Eye contact is a very strong and important aspect of body language, especially in flirting. If you're attracted to a guy, you can show it by simply making eye contact with him and keeping his gaze from looking away. Seduction can indeed be shown by various actions, but usually seduction begins with uninterrupted eye contact.
A look like this would be more appropriate if accompanied by a smile. This way, you can show that your gaze is based on good intentions (not bad intentions)
Step 5. Throw a smile at him
Smiling is a universal language to show warmth and affection. If you smile at a guy you like, you can cast positive feelings or feelings on him. If he sees your smile and returns it, there's a good chance he's attracted to you.
Step 6. Give him a compliment
A kind word about someone can be interpreted as a form of compliment. Complimenting a guy based on his appearance or other character you find attractive can show your interest in him. Make sure you compliment him sincerely. People can usually tell if a compliment is sincere or not.
Step 7. Make sure he respects your boundaries
Since he's older than you, it's possible he has a different view of what he wants in a relationship. While you may be compelled to go along with it, make sure you only do what makes you feel comfortable.
Part 3 of 4: Developing Maturity
Step 1. Start hanging out and spending time with people who are older than you
You may find it difficult to connect emotionally with people who are older than you if you are not used to spending time with them. This is why it's a good idea to start being surrounded by people who are older than you. Make friends with people who are the same age as your ideal man and make yourself comfortable to hang out and spend time with those who are more experienced than you. This may be difficult to do if you don't have any older friends. If you have a sibling, you might want to try spending time with them and their friends while interacting with them.
If you want to make friends with people who are older than you, you can't depend on the friends in your class alone. Extracurricular clubs are usually a gathering place for people of all ages with similar interests. If you have a job, chances are you can make friends with older coworkers
Step 2. Do what you say
Trustworthiness and dependability are markers of personal maturity. Regardless of the age of the guy you're interested in, it's best if other people know that you're someone they can trust and rely on. If you make a promise, keep it as much as possible. Don't cancel the plans you made. When you keep your promises or do things according to your words, whatever you say will sound "mature" and wise to other people's ears. Of course the same thing will be felt by the man of your dreams who is older than you.
Step 3. Show pride in yourself
Respect and self-confidence are the main signs of maturity. It's normal for a teenage boy or girl to feel a lot of anxiety and insecurity as they grow up. If you want to attract the attention of an older man, you need to adjust your self-confidence to match the self-confidence of someone at his age. Fight negative thoughts about yourself and replace them with a more positive outlook. While you may need to pretend to be positive at first, eventually you will actually deepen your positive outlook.
Remember that there is no right or wrong answer when it comes to self-worth and self-confidence. Objectively, there is no wrong reason to have self-confidence
Step 4. Keep a journal
One great way to discover who you are is to keep a journal of the thoughts and feelings that arise each day. You might be surprised to find out how much you know about yourself if you get into the habit of writing in a diary. Buy a lined book or create a text file on your computer so you can add or write down your thoughts at night. If you become aware of the things you think or feel every day, you can get a better idea of how other people view you.
Step 5. Avoid jealousy
Similar to having good self-confidence, preventing and avoiding jealousy towards others is an important sign of maturity. At a young stage or age, most teenage girls tend to have a high sense of jealousy. If you want to stand out or stand out from others, you need to get rid of jealousy towards other people. For many, this is more said than done. However, this can still be done. Whenever you start to feel jealous of someone else, remind yourself that no one else could be a better partner for him than you. Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time.
Step 6. Avoid gangs and social dramas
Even if you try to act more mature than your age, your current circle of friends may make it difficult for you to feel free to mature. Groups of immature friends often fall into the trap of drama or gossip. The best thing you can do is avoid these things. Such things will not bring a constructive aspect to your life, and you will not look good when you are connected to such people.
When you consider the above, it doesn't mean you have to leave your friends behind. Instead, you need to spend some time with them, but back off when an argument starts. Of course, if a friend of yours is hurt and wants to share their grief, you need to listen to them. To be mature, you also need to be a reliable friend
Part 4 of 4: Having the Best Appearance
Step 1. Try a new hairstyle
Your hairstyle or hairstyle will make other people look at you twice. By cutting and curling your hair, you can have a big effect on your appearance. Use this opportunity to beautify your appearance and attract the attention of others. If you want to attract the attention of people who are older than you, stay away from the fashion trends that are being loved by young people. Try your hairdo to look attractive, but still classy.
It's a good idea to choose a hairdo that matches your face shape. If you feel confused, ask your hair stylist about a hairstyle that is more suitable for you
Step 2. Wear clothes that suit the dress sense of people his age
There may be some things that you wear that seem childish to someone older than you, depending on your age. While you'll always have to work out your own sense of dress in the end, you'll find it easier to attract the attention of older men if you pay attention to the expectations or fashion trends of people of his age.
- If the age gap is large enough, don't wear or follow the fashion trends of people your age if the trends seem odd to people your age.
- It's a good idea to look at some of the clothing stores that are currently trending. This way, you can find out the latest fashion trends.
Step 3. Make sure you keep your makeup light on
If you're young, don't try to match or make you look older by wearing a lot of make-up. This will only make other people pay more attention to your young age. In addition, heavy makeup also gives the impression that you feel anxious or insecure about your appearance. You can have a greater chance of getting the man of your dreams if you stay true to yourself. Usually, using make-up to highlight natural facial features is sufficient.
In fact, young women are often not very good at applying make-up (compared to their adult skills). Therefore, it's a good idea to start learning makeup little by little and develop your skills
Step 4. Show a posture that reflects confidence
Regardless of your gender or age, posture is an important aspect of showing confidence and making you look attractive to those around you. Try to keep your back straight and your shoulders flat, whether you're standing or sitting. If you're not used to having good posture, this can feel weird at first. However, in the end you will feel comfortable if you keep showing good posture.
Maturity and self-confidence are the two main aspects that can bridge the age gap, and body posture is the right "medium" to show both
Tips
- Usually, to attract the attention of an older man you need to follow the same principles when you are attracting the attention of a guy your age. Basic things like hospitality and flirting or jokes are things that won't change, regardless of your age or the age of your ideal man.
- You have to treat the relationship with an age gap between the two parties like any other relationship.
- Try to have a deep chat with him every now and then. Usually, deep conversations help both of you to understand and respect each other so that a relationship can build.
- Be yourself. Men prefer women who appear as they are.
Warning
- An age gap in a relationship can be viewed as controversial and can provoke criticism from friends and family. However, you shouldn't let that stop you if you really want to be in a relationship with an older man. Even so, it's a good idea to prepare yourself for such criticism.
- Just show your interest in him. If you show interest in other guys, you will be seen as a flirt and it will be harder for others to take you seriously.
- There is nothing that can really ensure the course of the relationship between two people.
- The older the age of the man you desire, the more difficult the effort you need to show.
