A guy who used to be actively approaching you, didn't hesitate to show his interest, and always contacted you regularly, suddenly pulled himself away. The situation certainly seems surprising to you, right? After that, your brain will be filled with various negative theories and assumptions, which in the end actually messes up your emotional state. If you're experiencing it right now, try reading this article to find common symptoms to watch out for, as well as healthy ways to deal with them.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Observing Changes in Communication Patterns
Step 1. Realize if the frequency of communication between the two of you is decreasing
Usually, this is the simplest signal you can catch. If he's been calling or texting you all this time but doesn't do it anymore, it's a sign that you should be wary.
- The decrease in verbal communication is generally also in line with the decrease in one's interest. However, the situation can also be based on changes in his personal life; for example, suddenly his busyness in the office increases or there is a family problem that grabs his focus.
- Asking directly is always better than assuming!
Step 2. Notice if the duration of your conversation shortens
Usually, this situation goes hand in hand with a reduction in the frequency of communication. Beware if suddenly the two of you are only chatting for 5 minutes every day.
It's possible that the two of you have always been comfortable chatting for hours on the phone. However, lately he always ended the conversation before even 10 minutes. If that's the case, chances are that his interest in you has waned. In addition, you should also be wary if he starts ignoring your calls and messages, takes a very long time to reply, or admits that he has to end the conversation without giving a clear reason
Step 3. Notice if the tone of the voice changes
A guy who is attracted to you will speak in a softer, flirtatious voice; to be sure, that tone of voice he only uses when talking to you. If her feelings change, her tone of voice will return to normal; in other words, you won't get the attention or affection from the way he talks to you.
It is possible that he will even say unpleasant or unfriendly things. If that's the case, it's a sign that he really isn't interested in you. Trust me, no one has the right to treat you badly, including your crush. If he starts saying things that hurt you, end the conversation immediately
Step 4. Listen to the words
When the two of you chat, does he also ask questions that are meaningful in your life or is he just focused on himself? If he is interested in you, he should invite you to discuss deeper topics to get to know you better. When he's talking, be aware that he's trying to keep the conversation going or wants to end the conversation right away.
- Chances are, he's trying to implicitly show you his true feelings. Make sure you pay attention to the words as well as the way they are said.
- Does he often invite you to joke? If he's starting to do it less often, it's likely that he's in a bad mood, or that he just isn't interested in you anymore.
- Also observe whether he prefers to discuss less important matters or in-depth topics. Avoiding topics related to feelings also shows that chances are that he's not really interested in you.
- If he starts to share his romantic interest with other women, it's a sign that he wants to make it clear that you're just a friend to him.
Method 2 of 3: Observing Behavior Change
Step 1. Observe his habit of canceling appointments
If he keeps canceling appointments without changing his schedule, chances are he really doesn't want to travel with you. If he even stops asking you out, it's a sign he's not really interested in you.
- If you've been the only one making plans or asking her to do something, try to stop doing it and watch her reaction. If he's attracted to you, he should start taking over the role when you stop doing it.
- Chances are, he will always give a non-specific reason when canceling an appointment. For example, he will say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I have other business.", without explaining what his business is. Beware if he never gives a clear reason when canceling his appointment!
Step 2. Observe how he treats other people
If you have trouble distinguishing between treatments, try observing how he interacts with his close friends. After that, try to compare it to the way he treats you.
- If he treats you as he would any of his other friends, he's more than likely just seeing you as a friend. If he likes you, he will definitely give you a different treatment.
- Some men are flirtatious; meanwhile, there are also men who are only flirtatious with the women they like; although not easy, try to analyze his behavior.
Step 3. Observe her body language
In many cases, a person's feelings are generally reflected through his body language. If a guy isn't attracted to you, he will usually try to 'run away' from you and avoid physical contact. Observe body language that indicates discomfort in the interaction between the two of you.
- If he looks like he wants to distance himself from you, crosses his arms, or looks away when he's talking to you, chances are he isn't really interested in you. Plus, he won't hug you or look uncomfortable when you touch his arm.
- If his eye contact tends to be brief or he keeps his eyes off you, he likely isn't interested in what you're saying. However, understand that some men are too shy to look the other person in the eye, regardless of whether or not they are attracted to that person.
- Some body language that confirms his disinterest: pointing his legs and body away from you, stroking his neck, crossing his arms, staring at the floor when talking to you, or turning his body away from you.
Step 4. Realize if he is no longer touching you
Touch is one of the important factors in building attraction and confirming the closeness of the parties in a relationship. Try to observe the frequency of physical contact between the two of you at this time.
- For example, during this time he always hugs you whenever the two of you meet. However, lately he has stopped doing it or even tries to pull away every time you hug him.
- Even if the two of you are still in physical contact, usually the type and intensity will change if the attraction dissipates. For example, recently he might just pat you on the shoulder when he usually hugs you; a pat on the shoulder is a form of unromantic expression that men usually do to their friends.
Step 5. Observe if he notices you
If a guy likes you, he will definitely make an effort to remember important details about your life. On the other hand, he will stop doing it if he is no longer interested in you.
- For example, he may start to forget your birthday even though you've been mentioning him for a whole week. If that's the case, chances are he's no longer interested in you.
- If he's always forgetting things you tell him about (for example, a recent job interview you had or a story about your family visiting), chances are he's no longer interested in hearing about the important things that are happening in your life.
- It's also possible that he will stop giving surprises or doing meaningful things, such as giving flowers or simple gifts without being asked.
Method 3 of 3: Troubleshooting
Step 1. Let him contact you first
If the frequency of communication between the two of you is drastically reduced, try to distance yourself from him. In other words, don't call or text him in advance. If after that, he never contacted you, it's a sign that he's really not interested in continuing his relationship with you.
At least, don't try to contact him for a week. During the week, observe if he is trying to contact you or looking for you; maybe he's looking for you knowing something's missing, or maybe he's not doing it to make it clear that he's not interested in you
Step 2. Ask other people
Most likely, the two of you have mutual friends. If possible, try asking both of your friends how the guy feels.
Be wary if he asks you for advice about other women. This is a real sign that he likes another woman and only sees you as a friend. If he starts asking, "How do you get A to notice me?", or "Where would I like to ask him out?", it means he's not romantically interested in you
Step 3. Ask him directly
This is the quickest way to find out how he feels. If you only make speculations based on how he communicates, behaves, or behaves towards you, chances are that the results will remain ambiguous.
- It takes tremendous courage to do this. No one wants to accept rejection or be in an inferior position. However, this is the best step to find out the real truth.
- You can raise this topic directly or indirectly. For example, you could ask, "Are you actually still interested in dating me or should we just be friends?" These questions are straightforward and to the point, so it will be easier for you to accept honest answers.
Step 4. Take good care of yourself
This step is very important to do, especially since your emotional health must be very messy afterwards. Whoever the man is, always remember that you deserve to be cared for and treated well.
Do things that make you happy. For example, you could spend time traveling with friends, cooking your favorite meal, taking a walk in the city park, painting, or watching a new movie at the cinema
Step 5. Defend your self-respect and honor
Accept the fact that he no longer likes you gracefully. After that, try to keep your distance from him and don't take your anger out on the people closest to you both.
- It's natural to feel sad after learning this fact, especially if you've been imagining a happy future with him. However, don't be sad for too long! Get on with your life and try to focus on the positive things in your life.
- Understand the big picture. This situation is, of course, difficult for you; however, be aware that there are still many fish in the ocean waiting for you to discover!
Tips
- There are many reasons that can change a person's feelings. If a guy is no longer attracted to you, it doesn't mean that the fault lies with you. Instead of blaming yourself, focus on paying more attention to your emotional state and needs. After that, you can get out of the relationship in a respectful way.
- Love yourself and realize that you are a great person. Don't let someone's rejection undermine your confidence and make you feel emotionally insecure.
Warning
- Don't keep thinking "we could be like this or that". In fact, the things you once hoped for didn't happen; instead of lamenting the past, focus on dealing with what is happening now and what might happen in the future.
- Try not to take it in a negative way. Trust me, your frustration won't change anything.
