Letting go of a past relationship can be difficult at times, especially if you no longer communicate with your ex or feel uncomfortable being around your ex. While letting go of a relationship takes time, you can move on with your life by putting some distance between you and your relationship, focusing on processing your feelings, and planning for a future without the relationship.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Putting Distance Between You and Your Relationship
Step 1. Get rid of all physical memories of the relationship from around you
In order to let go and let go of a relationship, you have to physically and emotionally distance yourself to move on with your life. If you're surrounded by sentimental items that remind you of a past relationship, you should pack it up and put it somewhere hidden or return it to your ex. Sometimes getting rid of memories of a relationship can make it easier for you to let go of the relationship.
You should integrate the physical memories of the relationship with the ritual of forgiveness. In the ritual, you process your feelings by throwing away or leaving things in a place far from your environment. It can act as a symbolic act and will help you move on with your life without the relationship
Step 2. Change residence if you live with your partner
If you're having trouble staying in the same place you're in a relationship with, you might want to consider moving to another apartment or moving your belongings to another room in the house. Having a new home for yourself after a breakup will make it easier for you to let go of the relationship.
Step 3. Cut off communication with your ex
If you're still communicating with your ex, you should stop so that you can distance yourself from the relationship emotionally. While you may be tempted to answer your ex's calls or messages, try to ignore them. You can also text your ex explaining that you need some time alone to process the end of the relationship and let it go.
You may think that talking to your ex will allow you to let go of the relationship. However, having frequent conversations or spending time with your ex will only make you more confused and hurt. Getting away emotionally from your ex means spending time without your ex so you can focus on your own needs
Step 4. Set boundaries with your ex if you have to be close
Maybe you work with your ex or live in the same place so you can't completely cut ties. In order to come to terms with the relationship, you should talk to your ex and set boundaries. That could mean agreeing not to send emails or messages other than work and being professional in the office.
You can also ask your ex to give you space and agree to stay out of touch with you for a few months. Making room for each other can help to let the relationship go. You can say, "I guess it's better if we don't talk and be alone. You're okay if we don't contact for a few months, right?"
Part 2 of 3: Processing Feelings
Step 1. Write a farewell letter to your ex
Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a good way to process them and move closer to letting go of your ex. Take the time and write down how you feel about the breakup, but make sure that you're referring directly to your ex as you write. Write down your feelings of confusion, loss, and anger, as well as your thoughts on the reasons for your separation.
When you're done writing the letter, you can even put it in an envelope and close it. Then put it in a drawer or safe place for some time until you're ready to read it without getting upset or angry. The act of writing this letter is more important than sending it to your ex. This simple act can help you to come to terms with the relationship that has ended
Step 2. Perform the ritual of forgiveness
Even if you don't believe in superstitions or rituals, performing an forgiveness ritual can help you feel better about the end of your relationship. This could be something as simple as lighting a candle and letting it shine until you're able to let go of the relationship, or drastic actions like burning a personal item that reminds you of the relationship.
Another way of letting go that can help is to bury items that symbolize past relationships. This item can be a photo of you and your ex or something that has sentimental value in both of your hearts. You can dig a hole and bury the object as a ritual that symbolizes sincerity
Step 3. Express feelings through creative activities
Being creative during emotional upheaval can be a great way to process your feelings and distract yourself from them. Focus your feelings on something creative like painting or drawing. Write poems about feelings, make sculptures, or take pictures of things. Even if you never show the artwork to anyone, just trying to do so can help you feel better and draw closer to forgiveness.
Step 4. Take care of yourself
After a breakup, you need to focus on your needs. It will help you deal with your feelings and let you focus on yourself instead of the breakup.
Do at least one self-care per day, such as taking a long bath, cooking a healthy breakfast, or jogging in your favorite area. Self-care can also remind you of the important things in your life and how valuable it is to spend time focusing on yourself. Taking care of yourself can be a great way to take your mind off the breakup and help let the relationship go
Step 5. Share your feelings with friends and family
Avoid harboring feelings and allow yourself to express your separation to others. Share your feelings and your journey to process the breakup. Lean on family and closest friends and don't be afraid to seek help when you need it.
You can meet with friends once a week to express the feelings you are dealing with. You can also form the habit of visiting your parents on the weekends as a form of distraction from the feelings that are haunting you, as well as establishing close relationships with those around you
Step 6. Consult a professional therapist or counselor
You may also benefit from discussing your feelings with a therapist, especially if you don't want to burden friends and family all the time with your thoughts and are seeking professional guidance.
A good therapist will listen and support you. He or she will also help you develop coping mechanisms for your emotional needs, as well as allow you to come to terms with the relationship
Step 7. Try to forgive your ex
Forgiveness is an essential part of letting go and letting go of a relationship. However, truly forgiving someone takes time, so don't try to rush this step. Instead, take time to process your feelings and open up to forgiving your ex for anything that still upsets or upset you. Over time, you will find that you can forgive your ex and let go of the relationship.
Part 3 of 3: Focusing on the Future
Step 1. Define a new personal target
One of the most effective ways to let go of a relationship is to focus on the future. That means setting new personal goals with a deadline to achieve them. Make a list of reasonable personal goals and try to get out of your comfort zone. Forcing yourself to try new things provides an opportunity for you to develop personally and let go of past memories.
Your list of personal goals should be specific and achievable. You can set fitness goals like losing weight or eating at least four home-cooked meals a week, and set bigger goals by trying new things like hiking for the first time or learning to play an instrument
Step 2. Form a new social group
While you don't need to replace old friends and instead should lean on them, forming a new social group can help refresh yourself after a breakup. This can be a good move if you and your ex share the same group of friends because this will give you more distance between the two of you.
You can make new friends by joining a team or recreational sports club. You can also meet new people by taking up a new hobby or joining a social club
Step 3. Explore new areas alone or with friends
Seeing a different scene than your everyday can also get rid of bad feelings and help let go of past relationships. Instead of running the usual route, try a new route in a different area, or book a place for dinner with a friend at a restaurant you've never tried. Get out of your comfort zone and seek new experiences by choosing a different route when you go to work or a new place to have fun.
Step 4. Go on a retreat or vacation alone
For a completely different view, you can plan a private retreat where you can have time to focus on your needs and get away from any memories of your past relationship. You may finally be able to buy the ticket to the Japan trip you've been dreaming of and explore a new country on your own. The time you spend in a new environment can serve as a useful distraction and provide important space for you to let go of the relationship.
