Death is usually considered a taboo subject. Death is inevitable, but we tend to live as if we and our loved ones will never die. When we are faced with the death of another person, or our future death, we feel shocked and discouraged. Even so, death is the only sure thing in our lives-and accepting death is the most important part of being human.
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Method 1 of 3: Lamenting the Death of a Loved One
Step 1. Give yourself time to grieve
The fact that death is eternal will take time to sink in, even if you expect the person to die. There is no “normal” time limit for grieving; grieving is a personal journey. Let the emotions you feel seep into you, and don't hold them back.
- Many people feel that they shouldn't cry, get angry, or show any emotion when someone dies. However, grieving is a natural and healthy part of dealing with death. If you have to suppress your emotions, make time for yourself.
- When you are alone, do whatever is necessary to release the emotions and pressures you are feeling. Shout, cry, write, and meditate; Shout the void from the top of the mountain; Punch the bag with your fist until you can't feel anything anymore. Some people find it helpful to write down their feelings in a journal or diary. A diary can be a great tool if you don't like sharing your feelings with other people.
Step 2. Consider taking a break
You may need time to grieve and process the situation without having to deal with the complexities of everyday life. If you need a few days off from your office, talk to your boss and explain the situation. Say that you need a few days to recover from your loss, and your boss will likely understand.[Image:Deal With Death Step 2 Version 2.jpg|center]
- If you can't take time off, take advantage of your after-work time. If you have children, consider hiring a nanny to watch over them. If your children need time to grieve, a caregiver can make sure that they are watched over by someone, and if you need time to grieve, this can provide time for you alone.
- Taking time off from work is healthy and normal in times of mourning after someone's death. However, quitting your job, shutting yourself down, and distancing yourself from those around you are unhealthy things. You don't have to forget the person who has passed away, but you can't keep being sad forever.
Step 3. Remember
The person may be gone for good, but you still have memories with them. Think of a happy or funny memory the two of you shared. Think about what you like about him, and why you like it so much.
- You can create photo albums about them and view them whenever you miss them. Photo albums can bring sad feelings but can also make you recall the happy memories.
- If the person is very special to you, consider sharing the impact that person has on you with your colleagues, children, or friends. You can even inspire someone to behave as well, politely, and passionately as that person.
Step 4. Find a good listener
You may feel better talking about it. Find someone who will listen without judging you. This person could be a family member, a close friend you trust, or a trusted therapist. Talking about it with someone unrelated to the situation can help.
- When you're feeling sick, maybe pouring that feeling out of your chest can help. Sometimes you just need a listener to hear your story. The listener doesn't have to say much.
- The person you talk to should be someone you can trust who won't tell anyone about it. This person should be someone who will keep your story under wraps. You have been through a traumatic experience, and you have a right to your privacy. If you feel that there is no one to trust, see a therapist or counselor.
Method 2 of 3: Moving On
Step 1. Begin to move forward
Live in the present, not in the past. It is very important to grieve the loss of someone close to you. However, moving on with your life is also very important to you. Continue to pursue your dreams and focus on the goals you want to achieve in your life. If there's one thing you can learn from death, it's that you shouldn't underestimate your life. Live with passion, happiness, and purpose in life as if today was your last.
Step 2. Try to let go of the regrets that are inherent in you
You'll be at peace with yourself if you can appreciate precious time without thinking about what should have happened. Try to accept the mistakes you made. After all, we are just human beings who are not free from mistakes. If you really regret something, you can't do anything to fix it.
- Try to think rationally: is it really my fault, or is it something that prevents me from doing it? Is there anything I can do now, or already?
- If you still feel guilty, try talking to someone who is also close to that person; he will put you at ease and reassure you that it is not your fault.
Step 3. Be present for others
If you're sad, it's possible that other people feel the same way. You have to be next to other people. Talk about the person who passed away, relive memories with them, and support each other through the difficult times that lie ahead. Try not to push everyone out of your life, even if you feel like you should be alone. You will need greater emotional support at this time.
Step 4. Consider cleaning the house
Throw away or keep everything that belongs to the person or pet: photos, cards, papers, notes, letters, mattresses, sheets, clothes, shoes, and accessories. Consider renovating or repainting the bedroom. If you're not surrounded by things that remind you of the past, it's easier for you to move on.
- You can store them in the attic, basement, garage, or shed. The most important thing is to get rid of everything that reminds you of your beloved person/animal from your life as quickly as possible.
- Consider keeping a few items as sentimental reminders. Keeping a deceased person's favorite jewellery, cup, or book will help you remember them; Keeping all the clothes in the closet will only keep you stuck in the past.
Step 5. Consider getting professional help
If you're feeling depressed, stuck in the shadows of the past, or can't control your emotions, it's best to contact a mental health professional. Find a therapist or counselor with good reviews in your area, and visit him or her. It's important to find someone to talk to, and friends are usually not enough. A trusted expert may be able to help you deal with your feelings and find a way to get back on track.
- You may feel reluctant to visit a therapist. There's nothing shameful about seeking advice when you don't know how to move on. You don't have to tell anyone about your therapist if you're not comfortable with it.
- Read reviews of some mental health experts before visiting. Search the internet for profiles of therapists in your area. You can read about the therapist's specialty, qualifications, and fees.
Method 3 of 3: Knowing the Five Stages of Grief
Step 1. Consider the five stages of suffering
In 1969, Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross published a book called Death and Dying about her work with her patients. He developed a model that he calls the "Five Stages of Grief," namely: denial, anger, offering, depression, and acceptance. Everyone grieves in different ways, and these stages don't always happen in the same order. same-but this model can give you an insight into the process you're going through.
Step 2. Identify the denial phase
The first reaction when you learn of the death of someone you love is to deny the situation. Rationalizing overwhelming emotions is a normal reaction; Of course, denial is a defense mechanism that reduces this sudden shock. This brings you into the first wave of pain and chaos.
Step 3. Be aware of the anger phase
As the effect of denial wears off, you may become immersed in the reality of the situation at hand. If you are not prepared for this pain, you may take it out on other people: friends, family, strangers, or inanimate objects. Try to maintain a point of view and recognize this outlet. You can't control how you feel, but you can choose whether you want to let them control you.
Step 4. Understand the bidding phase
Many people try to regain control as a reaction to your feelings of helplessness and vulnerability. In the case of patients with severe illness, this phase appears as a form of desperate measures to cling to life. In grieving, this phase is usually shown in the form of contemplation: "I wish I could be by his side.. Let's just try to hurry to the hospital..". This phase is filled with the words “just try it”.
Step 5. Overcome the depressive phase
When the bidding process starts to decline, you won't be able to escape the reality of what's happening. You may think about the cost of the burial or feel heavy remorse. You will feel empty, sad, and lonely; You will feel desperate to move on with life. This is part of the healing process. Do not rush.
Step 6. Accept the situation as it occurs
The final part of grieving is when you begin to move on with your life. This phase is characterized by withdrawal and calm. Accept that your loved one has continued on his or her journey, and know that you must also continue your journey in the world. Accept the present as your new reality, and make peace with the eternity that just happened.
