Friendship is one of the most meaningful and life-changing relationships. This is why it is so difficult for us to accept the departure of a friend forever. This person may be the person you trust the most, your playmate, or the best friend who accompanies you in difficult times (eg when your parents are divorced). If he was younger, his death might have left you even more shocked and confused. However, try to deal with the loss of your best friend by finding ways to deal with your emotions, keep the memories alive, and learn how to get on with your life without them.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Coping With Loss
Step 1. Attend his funeral to say “goodbye”
Participation in a funeral service (regardless of the culture) is a way for a surviving family or relative to say farewell to a deceased person. If your friend's family is holding a funeral, attend the ceremony. You can also bring flowers to place on the coffin or tomb, or ask the family if you can put a memento in your friend's coffin.
Sit near family and/or other friends. Being around people who love your best friend can make you more “free” to grieve
Step 2. Grieve in a way that is “appropriate” to you
There are a lot of myths out there about how to grieve one should follow. In reality, you need to grieve in a "way" that suits you. You can cry, scream, immerse yourself in work, or sit still. Don't get hung up and compare the way you grieve as other people usually "expect". Just accept whatever you feel.
- For example, you don't need to compare the way you grieve with the way other people grieve. If you can't cry, it doesn't mean that you don't care about your best friend.
- Don't numb and suppress negative feelings as this will only make the situation worse in the long run.
- Keep in mind that strong emotions (or the absence of strong emotions) are only temporary. Grief-regardless of how deep it is-does not last forever.
Step 3. Let others help you
You may withdraw from other people because you feel they cannot understand you. However, it's better to keep in touch with other people than to keep your feelings to yourself. Talk about your feelings with your friends and family and ask them for support. Maybe they also experienced the "impact" of your friend's departure, or just wanted to calm you down.
Accept help when someone else offers to stay with you, talk to you, or bring you a meal or snack
Step 4. Direct your feelings to creative things
Negative emotions can be painful, but you can actually use that energy to create new things. Focus your grief on creative activities, such as writing, painting, or dancing. You will realize that art activities can be a form of therapy in itself.
When you can't sleep, eat, or talk, open your journal or prepare a blank canvas and let your emotions out
Step 5. Try to create positive things from the departure of your best friend
Relieve your grief by using your friend's passing to help others. You can do charity work, raise funds, educate the public, or find other ways to repay his kindness or service.
- For example, if your best friend dies of an illness, you can run a charity event for a nonprofit that funds research into the disease.
- If your friend dies in an accident, offer to talk about how to avoid such an accident.
Step 6. Live the situation as it is
Don't push yourself or set too high standards for yourself. Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself regularly. You can set simple goals each day (eg breakfast, shower, and dress well). Achievements like these are still achievable, and make you feel better and comfortable with yourself.
Try to apply self-care in your daily life. Pray, do yoga, meditate, massage yourself, read an interesting book, or listen to relaxing music
Method 2 of 3: Remembering Friends
Step 1. Say the name
Usually when someone dies, other people find it difficult to talk about that person without feeling angry or sad. However, this makes those who want to share their stories feel isolated. If you feel comfortable enough to talk about your best friend, mention her name in conversation. He was there and became a very important figure for you. This is not going to change just because he's gone.
Step 2. Ask for a memento from his family
Keeping things that are important to your friendship with him can help you deal with grief and feel closer to your late best friend. Visited his family a few weeks after his disappearance. Ask if they allow you to pick up some special items as a memento of your friendship with them.
For example, you could take the book you lent him (but never/had time to return it) or the T-shirt he wore on the day you met him. The best keepsakes have symbolic value for your friendship
Step 3. Relive the good memories
The best way to remember someone who has passed away is to relive the good times they had with him. Take time to think about the special things you've had with him, like birthdays, big accomplishments, or even just relaxing days with him at home.
Look for other people who are also close to your best friend, such as a lover, sibling, or other friend. Talk to them about your late best friend when you want to relive those memories
Step 4. Revisit “special” places or go back to your favorite activities
Another way to relive memories of him is to recreate the memories you shared with him. Just because he's gone, doesn't mean you can't go back to having lunch at a pizza restaurant on Friday or watching your two favorite television shows.
While it may be difficult at first, you will find that visiting special places or doing certain activities brings you closer to them
Step 5. Create a scrapbook that tells the story of his life
Include photos of your best friend at a certain point in their life. Also, add a photo of the two of you. Write a small caption or a short story next to each photo. Read the scrapbook every time you feel sad, or show it to other friends.
Step 6. Create a digital memorial page
You can remember your best friend on the internet through a digital memorial page. This is a good way to commemorate his future departure and, in general, to share your feelings with others. You can even invite other friends to work on the page with you.
For an example of a good memorial page, you can visit this link:
Step 7. Do something cool to remember your best friend
If he enjoys cycling, find out the date of the next BMX cycling or freestyle event and join the event in memory of your best friend. If he has always enjoyed reading, organize a reading club in his memory. Raise money and give scholarship funds on behalf of your best friend. Find a way to remember him by keeping his legacy or name alive.
Method 3 of 3: Trying to Rise
Step 1. Stick to your routine
At a certain moment, you can finally get back to moving on with your life. Things won't go back to normal, but you can adjust by creating a new schedule. Having structure in your daily life provides a kind of "warmth" or calm when things get out of hand. Therefore, develop a routine that works for you and stick to it.
Think about the things you generally do every day and write those activities in your agenda book or journal. Set aside enough time for each different activity or event, such as having lunch or going to work/school. Establish a stable sleep schedule by getting up and going to bed at the same time every day
Step 2. Redefine who you are
The moment after one's death often prompts people to think about the meaning of life. Your best friend's passing may make you more aware of the things in you that you want to change. Take the time to decide what kind of figure you want to appear in the future.
- Death is usually an important moment to reflect on your own life and the way you live it (as you wish). Make sure you do some self-reflection and determine if you are living a life based on your personal values.
- For example, you may feel that you are not spending enough time with your family. If so, make it a priority. Maybe you also feel that your best friend's life is too short (and he hasn't done much in life) for you to be inspired to live your life and enrich it.
Step 3. Spend time with loved ones
A few weeks or months after your best friend's departure, being around positive and supportive people will do you good. This person may be another friend, sibling, parent, teacher, or spiritual adviser. You can talk about your sadness or simply ask him to support you in any way.
For example, you could say, “I was preparing to apply for university when Joni died. Can you help me prepare for my re-enlistment?”
Step 4. Talk to a counselor who specializes in dealing with bereavement
If you can't seem to get back to life after your best friend's death, you may need professional help. Some people experience complicated grief. You may want to blame yourself for the death of your best friend, quit school or work, neglect your appearance, and even contemplate suicide.
