Sometimes, when you can't get someone out of your mind, they can enter your dreams. Forcing yourself to stop thinking about it will not have any impact because dreams do appear by themselves. It's a good idea to find ways to refocus your mind before bed, such as reading a book or meditating to clear your mind. If that doesn't work, you will need to find a way to accept the condition of your relationship or past experiences with the person in order to get them out of your dreams.
Step
Method 1 of 2: Refocusing Your Mind Before Sleeping
Step 1. Keep yourself busy all day
Aim to be more productive in the hours after waking up and before going to bed. You can visit the gym, shop for necessities or do chores that have been delayed, or clean/tidy up the house when you get home. Scientists believe that dreams are a way of processing everyday experiences. The more often you move throughout the day, the more "material" you can give your subconscious mind to build other dreams.
- Stay active and engage in activities to fill your dreams with new events, images, and themes.
- You cannot escape a dream, no matter how much effort you put in. If you're experiencing chronic stress or struggling with responsibilities, chances are you're already exhausted and overwhelmed with the job at hand.
Step 2. Read a book before bed
Choose a book that allows you to immerse yourself in the story for at least half an hour. Reading is the right activity to distance yourself or avoid various thoughts from life that can affect the content of dreams. Basically, reading allows you to think about other things so that you don't get hung up on someone who is always present in your dreams.
- Another benefit of reading is that it helps you fall asleep faster if you have insomnia or anxiety.
- Reading is better than watching television or playing games on your phone because the blue light produced by digital screens can stimulate your brain and make it difficult for you to fall asleep.
Step 3. Meditate for a few minutes to calm yourself down
Sit comfortably on the floor, close your eyes, and relax as much as possible. Take a deep breath slowly through your nose and out through your mouth. Focus on the repetition of the breath and the sensation of sitting. The longer you sit and practice breathing, the more unimportant thoughts disappear.
- When you start thinking about the person you've always dreamed of, wake up immediately and refocus on your body and breathing exercises.
- This style of meditation is often referred to as “mindfulness meditation”. Many people find mindfulness meditation a useful exercise to get rid of excessive thought patterns that can trigger unwanted/stressful dreams.
Tip:
Getting into the habit of meditating is sometimes difficult. Start by meditating for five minutes each night and gradually increase the duration of the meditation until you can sit for 30 minutes or longer.
Step 4. Use voice to guide dreams
As you go to sleep, play soft music or a recording that you find soothing, such as the sound of a stream or the sound of a thunderstorm. A white noise-generating machine can be an option that many people use to help them sleep comfortably. These types of audio cues are enough to build a more beautiful dream (and not feature a person you want to forget).
- Adjust the volume of the audio you are listening to so that it is easy to hear, but not so loud that it makes it difficult for you to fall asleep or wake you from sleep.
- If you don't know what to listen to, try listening to ASMR. ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) is a form of sound therapy that uses common sounds such as tapping, scratching, and whispering to relieve stress and establish deep and restful sleep patterns. There are plenty of ASMR footage and videos available for free on sites like YouTube.
- Don't play anything that triggers mental associations with the person in question, such as their favorite music album or soundtrack that reminds you of a vacation you've had together.
Step 5. Think of other people with whom you have a special relationship
Some research shows that one of the best ways to stop thinking about someone is to redirect your mental energy to someone you care about or care about. Relive fond memories of a partner, friend, or family member, or think of some characters or traits that you like about them. By concentrating on these things, you can erase the presence of unwanted figures from your mind as you prepare to dream.
- Directing your mind to someone you care about helps you feel calm when unwanted memories start to come to mind, and not just when you're trying to sleep.
- This form of visualization can strengthen existing relationships, increase your association with loved ones and remind you of the importance of their presence in your life.
Method 2 of 2: Confronting the Source of Recurring Dreams
Step 1. Accept the stuck feelings you have for him
If the object of your dream is someone who has hurt or abandoned you, it is possible that his actions left a lasting wound on your soul. In this situation, you need to come to terms with the memory before it disappears from your dreams. Try as much as possible to accept the experiences you had with him as part of your life history, and forgive him for any hurt or sadness he caused.
- Dreams of a sexual or romantic nature may indicate an unsatisfied desire or desire in the current relationship. Deal with this problem or obstacle so that such dreams don't appear again.
- Dreaming of someone who has passed away is not strange or unhealthy. This is actually part of the grieving process. Dreams like this usually appear less and less as you begin to recover.
Step 2. Resolve the problem with the person concerned directly if it is found to be helpful
If you feel safe doing it, it's a good idea to try to talk to him directly about his actions and the impact on you. Find out if he's willing to sit down and listen to all your complaints. A face-to-face discussion gives you the cover or end to the problem you need so you can get up and forget about it.
- If you don't feel comfortable seeing him in person, give him a call. Fixed phone chats give you the opportunity to listen and be heard personally.
- Having one last chance to discuss matters can be beneficial, especially if you have had a sad ending or left an unhealthy relationship.
- If you can't or don't want to communicate with him anymore, write a letter with everything you want to say to him. Even if you're not going to send the letter, at least getting the weight off your chest can make you feel more relieved.
Step 3. Analyze existing dreams to better understand their causes
Instead of being a passive participant in dreams, try to be an impartial observer. Remind yourself that you are dreaming, then hold yourself back and see what happens without allowing yourself to react to the dream emotionally. When you wake up, look for theories that lead you to the meaning of the events in the dream and be prepared to receive the answers you get.
- To get more involved in your dreams, you may need to experiment with lucid dreaming or similar techniques.
- If logically "dissecting" the dream does not work, take certain actions. Tell the person that you don't want to see them again, or try taking a metaphorical step, such as walking away or closing the door on them.
- Some dreams are sometimes like knots that need to be opened. Once you pull the string, the things that bind you will eventually come loose.
Tip:
Keep a pen and a piece of paper at your bedside so you can immediately record what happened in your dream as soon as you wake up.
Step 4. Try seeing a psychologist if you have dreams about him all the time
If the dream bothers you, you will eventually feel powerless to stop it from occurring. A qualified counselor can help you deal with complex emotional issues and provide you with constructive practice for changing your mindset. In the end, this kind of practice can change the way you dream.
