Your relationship with someone is amazing and you want to take that relationship to the next level. Do you want to make him his girlfriend, fiancé, or even marry him? What is clear, there are several things you must do before you can make him give a commitment. If you want your relationship to take you to the next level, follow these easy steps.
Step
Step 1. Make sure you are ready to commit
Before you launch a plan to get him to commit, you have to make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. Maybe you want him to ask you to be his girlfriend, or you want him to propose to you. What is clear, beforehand you must know that this is the right thing for you.
- Write a list of all the reasons why you want to take this relationship to the next level. These reasons should come naturally and you should have no trouble trying to write them down.
- Don't force a commitment just because you feel like you've been together long enough. Take your relationship to the next level only when you're ready, not because you feel this is the right next step.
- Don't force a commitment just because it's what everyone around you is doing and you don't want to feel left out. Maybe ten of your best friends are going to marry their partners, but that doesn't mean you have to follow their lead unless that's what you really want.
- Don't let other people, like your parents or friends, force you to take your relationship to the next level.
- If you want him to ask you to be his girlfriend, you have to be ready to keep the commitment in the relationship. Make sure you don't want to make him commit just to show off the clarity of your relationship, but simply because you really want to take this relationship to the next level.
- If you want him to marry you because you want to stay with him, make sure you do it because you want your relationship to be stronger. Don't do it just because you want to get around the housing problem you're having.
- Also, if you want him to propose to you, make sure you're prepared to live your whole life with him, that he makes you so happy, and that you can't imagine your life without him.
Step 2. Make sure he's ready to make a commitment
Once you know that you're serious about taking your relationship to the next level, it's important to make sure your partner feels the same way. If you're really ready but he doesn't think about making a commitment at all, you're in for a lot of trouble too. Here's how to tell if he's ready or not:
- If he's ready to make a commitment, he'll tell you how amazing you are, how much he values you, and how much you make him very happy.
- If he feels comfortable discussing a future together, from where the two of you will live to what your children will look like, then he's serious. Even if he mentions what he's going to do in a year or two in passing, it shows that you will always be a big part of his life.
- If your relationship is stable and always growing. If you spend most of your time together having fun, doing things you both enjoy, and having open and honest communication, your future relationships will also be healthy. However, if the two of you are always fighting and are unhappy with each other, it's a good idea to both work things out in your relationship first before trying to take the relationship to a more serious level.
- If you want him to ask you to be his girlfriend, you have to make sure that you are the only girl in his life. He must not talk or text other women or tell stories about other women.
- If you want to sail the ark of the household with him, he must be ready to share responsibilities with you, keep his things tidy, and share his life with you.
- Of course if you want him to propose to you, he's got to feel good about himself, feel proud of what he's doing with his life, and have to feel settled in general before he can feel set on a future with you.
Step 3. Let him know that you are ready to make a commitment
Try to let him know that you want to take the relationship to the next level without appearing too obvious or pushy. He won't be able to find out what you want if you don't tell him. Here's how to tell him:
- When telling him how much he means to you, also mention that you're ready to take the next step.
- Find a casual way to say that you want to take your relationship even more seriously. Don't bring this up in a serious conversation, but try to tuck it into a casual conversation so that he feels comfortable.
- If any of your friends are already in the relationship, you can mention how happy they are without comparing your relationship to theirs.
- Try to find out how he feels. When you mention that you're ready, ask him what he wants.
- Show him your love without overwhelming him and he will know that you adore him.
Step 4. Show that he will be happy to give you his commitment
If you want him to commit to you, you have to show him that you are the person he wants to take to the next level in his life. Before he takes the big step, he needs to know that you are a fun, positive, interesting person and an excellent potential partner. Here's how to do it:
- Make a list of ways to improve your best qualities. You can show that you're independent by reducing your requests to see her, or you can show that you're more relaxed by not obsessing over all the little things.
- Demonstrate your ability to sympathize. He needs to know that you want to understand his feelings, help him when he's in pain, and be sensitive to his weaknesses.
- Show your independence. Even if you want to become closer to him, you need to keep your passions, friendships, and goals personal so he doesn't feel like you're stuck with him and fear that you just want to spend all the time with him.
- Show that you have a lot to teach him. You can teach him to relax, or you can help him become a more organized person. What is clear, make him feel if he continues to be with you, he too can become a better person.
- Show him that you are generous. One of the things that must be considered when being in an exclusive relationship or getting married is being able to compromise and understand your partner's point of view. He needs to know that he can have a constructive conversation with you, that you know when it's time to pull out, and that you're comfortable with the fact you can't always get what you want.
Step 5. If you want him, wait for him to give his commitment
If you tend to be more traditional, maybe you want him to take the initiative. Give him time to understand how important commitment is and to find a place and a way to ask you to commit to him. Maybe he has the same feelings as you, but he's having a hard time finding the right time to express them.
Be patient, know when you can take the initiative to do so. If you've been waiting too long, it's best if you bring up the topic of this conversation. If you don't, you might end up waiting for something that won't happen and you'll end up hurting more and more as time goes on
Step 6. Try to get him to have an honest conversation
When you know that you're both ready to take the next step and he's not disputing it, it's time to talk about the next step honestly and openly. Here's what you can do:
- Try to be assertive. Take the time to sit down with him and discuss your desire to take the relationship to the next level. Let him know that you really care about him and that you want to take your relationship to the next level.
- Avoid the urge to confront. While you should show him that this ongoing conversation is important, but don't let him feel cornered. Don't say, "Why haven't you asked me to be your girlfriend yet? Is there something wrong with me?" He too will be shocked and lost for words.
- Try to have an open mind. Remember that the conversation goes both ways. So after you've taken the time to express your feelings, try asking him, "What do you think?" Or "How have you been feeling all this time?" Show that you really care about what he says.
- Choose the right time. This is a serious conversation and you should do it when there are no distractions. Turn off the television and turn off the ringing of the phone before engaging him in a conversation. Make sure you don't do it when he's busy or stressed because he might not really respond to you.
Step 7. Don't be disappointed if your efforts fail
If you've done everything and he refuses to make a commitment, don't feel disappointed. Not everything goes according to plan and you should realize that you are trying your best to have a good relationship. If your attempt fails, there are two things you can do:
- End this relationship. If you've been trying to get him to propose to you for years and to no avail, it may be time to accept the fact that he has no desire to marry and that you both have different goals in the context of a relationship. If you really want to get married and you're sure he doesn't want to make this commitment, then it's time for you to move on.
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Give him some more time. Ask yourself if he has a good reason not to commit or not. Maybe your relationship over the last few months has been great, but he's still trying to recover from an eight-year breakup so he hasn't been able to give you what you want at this point. Maybe he is facing a major change in his career life and feels nervous and uncomfortable about making other changes in his life and needs time.
If you feel that his problems are caused by a situation in his life, not his values, try to be patient and try again when the situation is more favorable. But you have to know the difference between waiting for him to be ready after a rough time and constantly giving the same excuses because he really doesn't have the courage to commit
