You managed to get the phone number of the girl you like. Granted, this can be a great start, but there's no guarantee that you'll be able to start chatting with her right away on the phone. You can increase your chances of talking to her on the phone if you plan in advance your approach, whether it's someone you just met, a casual friend, or an ex you want to get back together with. A text message or email can give him a reason to contact you.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Sending a Text Message
Step 1. Wait a day or two
Don't rush into texting so you don't seem desperate, but don't wait too long either. Many women say they lose interest if they don't hear from a man after exchanging phone numbers. Waiting around 24-36 hours can be a reasonable duration.
Step 2. Send a text message to make the first contact
You can text him to let him know that you are interested in talking to him. Make sure text messages don't become an everyday way of communicating between the two of you. Also, sending too many text messages to someone you don't know very well will make him uncomfortable and he may assume that you're not really interested in him.
Step 3. Remind him of the last time you communicated with him
If you're new to him, try to reintroduce yourself. If you already know her but haven't texted her before, remind her that she gave you her phone number.
- If he doesn't have your phone number, he may be confused when he receives a message from you. Try writing, “Hi Sari. This is Surya, we had a chat last Monday.”
- If you have time to chat for a while, try to say it. Remind him that you both showed interest the first time you met.
- Don't bring up anything negative about your first meeting situation. If he's upset about the long line at the cinema, don't remind him of his frustration that day.
- Tell him that you enjoyed chatting with him. You could say, “There is less waiting in line because of chatting with you.”
Step 4. Read the text message carefully
Try to apply the same pattern in terms of text length and complexity. Following the sentence structure he uses can strengthen the connection because it shows that the two of you are in sync with each other.
Step 5. Pay close attention to what you write
The main drawback of this method of communication is that you cannot show facial expressions, tone of voice, or body language. So, be careful not to make sarcastic comments, or make comments that could give the impression of being critical, complaining or feeling insecure. He won't be blown away by your self-deprecating humor without seeing your sweet smile or your charming shrug.
Step 6. Tell him that you prefer to communicate in person rather than through text messages
Let her know that texting is fun, but that you wish you could hear her voice too. You might try saying, "I really enjoy reading your messages, but I'm sure it would be more fun to chat with you in person."
Step 7. See how he reacts when you propose a phone call
Don't try to force him to agree to your wish to talk on the phone, but let him know that you intend to do so. So end your communication with the phrase, “See you later. I'll call you."
Method 2 of 4: Calling him
Step 1. Find a reason to call him
Don't call without any importance, or just because you wrote a message will call him. You can call by bringing up topics that have been discussed in previous conversations, or based on the information he has given about himself.
- Try to talk about something he's following or is working on. You can say, “So, did you like the photo of your driver's license?”
- Ask him if he often comes to the place where the two of you last saw each other.
- Ask how he was that day or that week.
- If he talks about his pet, ask him how he's doing.
Step 2. Choose the right time to call him
If you get his number at lunch, or on his way to work, or while he's on his lunch break, try calling during that time period.
- Don't call in the morning. Most people have very busy morning schedules and can't really make time to talk on the phone.
- After work may be a good time, but keep in mind that the routine at the end of the day is more varied than the beginning of the day. He may have an event with friends, go to a class, or just want to go home and sit down and watch television.
- Don't call after 7 PM or 7:30 PM. Like the morning routine, the evening schedule may also be very busy and hectic. You don't want to annoy him, or annoy him, by calling when he wants to relax in the evening.
Step 3. Plan what you want to say
Take notes and make sure you take them with you when you call. You should have a plan for what to say if he answers your call, or what message you want to leave if he doesn't answer. Make notes that you can keep next to your phone. Whether he'll answer your phone calls or not, you need to know what he's trying to say. Prepare two small conversation scripts; first to start a conversation and second to leave a message. By having these notes, you will not stutter or slurred speech and can concentrate more on intonation, not on the substance of the conversation.
Step 4. Take the time to call her
Pick a time of day when you feel calm and able to concentrate, and have enough free time in case he answers your phone calls. Also, make sure you're not calling her from a crowded place where she'll have a hard time hearing what you're saying.
- Don't try to call him when you're stressed or in a stressful situation. Calling him while you're driving, waiting for the train or bus, or busy working on something is not the right thing to do. You certainly don't want the conversation to be interrupted because another driver is reckless, or has to catch a train or bus, or isn't focused due to doing several things at once.
- Don't call him just to pass the time. You don't want him to think you're calling him just because he has nothing better to do.
- Make sure you won't be disturbed by anything else while on the phone.
- Turn off the television, computer or radio or turn down the volume of the music so as not to interrupt the conversation. Focus your attention only on the conversation.
- Don't call from a busy bar or restaurant, or while standing or walking in a noisy place, such as a highway or train station. In places like these, you're more likely to get distracted or have to hang up earlier than expected. In addition, it is difficult for you to concentrate or hear what he is saying because of the noise around you.
Method 3 of 4: Leaving a Message
Step 1. Don't leave a message on the first call
If he doesn't answer, hang up and wait. You can try again later or another day.
- If he doesn't answer, think about another time he'll have a better chance of answering. If you call during lunch, consider calling again around 7 PM or 7:30 PM.
- If you're sure he or she can usually pick up the call around the time you called, try again at the same time in 1-2 days.
- Don't wait more than 1-2 days to try calling them again.
- If you try multiple times or at different times in the same day, leave a message after trying three times.
Step 2. Leave your phone number and name
Speak clearly and calmly when leaving messages. Don't speak too fast because he may not understand what you're saying and give the impression that you're nervous.
- Try not to speak in a contrived or too slow manner.
- Mention the phone number twice, at the beginning and at the end of the message.
- If he is a new acquaintance, remind him who you are and when the two of you met. Say something like, “Hi, Winda, this is Dika. We met for lunch at a Betawi restaurant last Monday.”
Step 3. State the information you received via text message
You can say you've wanted to hear from him since the last text message, or mention some personal information he's written down, such as a pet or an office project he's working on.
Step 4. Set the timer
Your message cannot be longer than 30 seconds. Voice messages that are longer than 30 seconds will sound boring and seem like they will never end. Also, by limiting the duration of the message, you won't be tempted to slur or stutter because you don't know how to end the message.
Step 5. Ask when is the right time to call him
Don't say, “By the way, I tried to reach you on that day and hour. How are you? When can I talk to you on the phone?” He already knows that you called, and when. You can simply say, “I hope this is a good time to call. If not, I'm sorry. I'll try calling again later."
Step 6. Have a small talk
Don't talk about negative topics. Don't complain, and don't sulk that he's so hard to contact. You have to make sure he only has positive feelings for you, and doesn't mind calling back at all.
Step 7. Give him a reason to call back
Don't ask her out with you, or say you want to plan something with her. Instead, ask questions or ask for a little favor.
- Ask his opinion about the place where you met him. For example, say "I've wanted to join a yoga class at the gym for a long time, I wanted to ask your opinion about it."
- Tell him that you're interested in something he's told you about, such as a great dog grooming place or a good sushi restaurant.
- Ask the project or activity that he is working on / working on.
Method 4 of 4: Waiting for Answer
Step 1. Don't make multiple calls
Decide in advance when you will call and how long you will wait before calling again.
- Don't call more than twice in the same day and just to find out when he can talk on the phone.
- Don't call more than three times a week. Give him the opportunity to find time to contact you.
- Don't call two days in a row, unless you call at a time that you think will allow him to talk on the phone. Even in this situation, don't make these consecutive calls more than once a week.
- Wait until next week before you try to contact him again.
Step 2. Set a time limit for waiting
After leaving the first message, and trying to call again once or twice, try to wait at least two weeks before trying to call him again.
Step 3. Accept gracefully if he doesn't call back
There might be a reason behind his actions. While it's not to say that he won't call back forever, you have to be realistic and accept that he won't be doing it right now. Be warned, if you act like a desperate guy who doesn't know when to accept reality, it's almost certain that you'll never hear from him again.
Step 4. Don't be offended
Don't hold grudges or think negatively about him or yourself. Don't criticize him, and don't be ashamed that you like him. Life is long, timing is very important, and you never know what the future holds. In the meantime, accept this situation gracefully and move on with your life.
Tips
- Be realistic. Don't assume this will affect your next life, and don't try to control everything
- Set a timeframe for when you give him the opportunity to call back, say a few weeks or a month? If there is no significant progress, accept it gracefully and move on with your life.
- Don't take it too seriously. The world won't end just because he doesn't call back.
- If you don't irritate or scare him, there's always a chance he'll change his mind in the future.
- Keep up with hobbies, activities, and relationships with other people.
