Most people think of sadness as a problem or a negative emotion. People who are sad usually try to ignore or cover up their sadness, even though feeling sad is a natural emotional response that comes when faced with a difficult situation. Even though sadness is a natural feeling, you still have to learn to express the sadness you feel. In this way, you are able to process your feelings and begin to leave them.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Expressing Sadness
Step 1. Cry
Let the feelings of sadness, anger, and misery that are inside you come out. There are people who feel more relieved after crying. This can happen because crying is a way of expressing feelings of sadness. Crying can also calm you down. Research shows that stress hormones are removed from the body through crying. When you're done crying, lie down and think about what happened.
If introspection makes you sadder, cry some more. You don't have to feel embarrassed because no one is looking at you. Get your emotions out of the way
Step 2. Write down your feelings in a diary
Go somewhere quiet to think quietly. Describe your feelings; what happened and how sad you are, in as much detail as possible. Also note the various physical sensations that arise in your body. These notes can help you understand the reasons behind those feelings of sadness. If you're having trouble writing down your feelings, write a letter to your pain.
If you've let go of your feelings but are still feeling sad, this is a good sign. That means, you still need to process a situational or internal conflict. Your thoughts and feelings will be clearer after writing them down in a diary
Step 3. Dance or listen to a sad song
Recent research has shown that dancing can help you heal various mental problems, such as sadness, fatigue, anxiety, and physical symptoms. You can dance formally in a dance studio, or simply dance to the music at home. Research also shows that listening to sad music can make you feel better. Sad music connects to the feelings of sadness you are feeling and makes it easier for you to process that sadness.
If you're not ready to deal with your feelings, music can distract you until you're ready
Step 4. Create the artwork
Do something artistic. Express your sadness with colors, shapes, and even textures. With art, you can release your sadness without words. Try some of the following:
- Imagery: start by imagining how you feel. Close your eyes, then imagine what it looks like to you (the color, the shape, and so on). Then, open your eyes and start drawing on the paper. What the result looks like is not important. Describe your feelings as they arise.
- Mandala: A mandala is an intricate circle that you can color or paint to express your feelings. Look for pictures of mandalas that you can print from the internet. There are people who prefer this form of structured art project. This art form relates to your subconscious.
Part 2 of 3: Overcoming Sadness
Step 1. Know what negative thoughts are
Negative thoughts are usually unrealistic thoughts about a situation, about yourself, or about possible future events. These thoughts can overpower positive thoughts and change your view of yourself. If you don't know and realize that you're thinking negatively, you won't be able to deal with grief in a healthy way. Having a negative view of yourself can lead to depression.
- For example, you may be sad because you recently broke up with someone you love. After a breakup, most people usually have negative thoughts, such as "I'm not a good partner," or "I'll always be alone."
- If you believe these negative thoughts, your behavior will begin to follow. For example, you may stop dating because you think you will always be alone.
Step 2. Realize the reason behind your negative thoughts
Think about the reasons behind these negative thoughts. For example, if you think that you will always be alone, a big reason may have to do with your lack of confidence when meeting people. Even if you're aware that your own feelings are uncomfortable, you still need to understand the reasons behind your negative feelings.
- Try making a thought note. Write down an event that didn't live up to your expectations. Record all the feelings of sadness that arise as well as the events surrounding them.
- For example, your initial negative thought might be something like this: "I'm such a lousy person because no one else is interested in me." The reason behind this thought is, you feel sad about the recent breakup, and now you feel alone.
Step 3. Challenge and let go of negative thoughts
Ask yourself: is this thought true? Eventually you'll realize that most of these thoughts aren't true, they're not real, they're just your reactions. Also ask some of these questions to challenge and let go of negative thoughts:
- Why do you think that thought is true? What facts support it? "I don't even know how to ask people out. I haven't been practicing much lately."
- What is your reaction to these negative thoughts (whether actions, feelings, or other emotions)? "I'm afraid to ask people out on a date."
- If these feelings do not arise, what will your behavior be like? "I'm not scared. I should try asking people out, of course when I'm ready."
Step 4. Respect your feelings
You can feel sad, you don't have to hold back your feelings. The first step to letting go of sadness is to accept your feelings. There is a reason behind your sadness, and of course you need to be aware of the existence of that sadness and pain. That way, you can start trying to let go of those feelings. If you find it difficult to respect your feelings, write down, or say aloud, a few sentences below:
- "I get sad when I _, and that's okay."
- "I can be sad about _."
Step 5. Don't let other people put you down
Your family and friends will try to calm you down. They will say that your sadness will pass, or that there is still good behind this sadness. Their intentions are good, but actually these things can make you feel down. Tell them that you know their intentions are good, but that you are feeling down, and that it takes time to feel sad and heal.
For example, if you recently broke up and a friend tells you that you now have a lot of free time, tell your friend that you need time to process the feelings that arise
Part 3 of 3: Leaving Sadness
Step 1. Practice positive affirmations for yourself
Remind yourself of your accomplishments and the good things you like about yourself. Or, tell yourself positive, meaningful statements, such as certain quotes. Write these things down on a list and keep them near you so you can easily see them when you're feeling down. Research shows that you can develop and protect positive thoughts by bringing physical reminders with you.
To keep your positive statement or affirmation close at hand, write it down on an index card that you keep in your wallet, keep it on your phone, or make it your computer screen saver
Step 2. Take time to talk to other people
Surround yourself with friends and family members who can understand you. Explain how you feel, then see if you feel more relieved. Most likely, they will try to cheer you up. You can also tell them that you are sad and need time to feel sad.
Talk to someone older or wiser you trust. This person may have more life experience than you and will be able to help you get over your grief
Step 3. Turn your mind to positive things
It's easy for your mind to focus on negative things and ignore positive feelings, such as happy, relaxed, interested, happy, or feeling supported. Take a moment to write down memories that make you happy or relax you. These reminders can make you feel positive again. You can also distract yourself from negative emotions by doing something nice or positive. Here are some things you can do:
- Colouring hair
- Making a cup of tea
- Counting to 500 or 1000
- Play puzzle
- Watching people walk by
- Playing musical instruments
- Watch TV or movies
- Painting nails
- Organize books, wardrobe, etc.
- Folding origami
- Be active. Work out, go for a walk or push ups
Step 4. Know when to start seeking the help of a therapist
If you feel sad for more than a month, you may be depressed. If so, you may need professional counseling assistance. Symptoms of depression are more severe than sadness, and include a complete loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy, constant anger, agitation, decreased sex drive, difficulty concentrating, changes in sleep patterns, and persistent fatigue. If you start to have thoughts of suicide, you need immediate counseling. Go to the Emergency Department at the nearest hospital. Some signs of suicidal ideation include:
- Threatening or talking about suicidal thoughts, including looking for ways to commit suicide via the internet
- Saying that you don't care about anything anymore, or that you don't exist anymore
- Says you don't want to disturb other people
- Feeling trapped
- Feeling unbearable pain
- Giving away all your possessions, writing a will or arranging a funeral procession
- Buying weapons
- Unexpected feeling of happiness or calm after a long period of depression
Tips
- Contact people who can help you. If there is no one you can contact, there are consulting clinics you can visit.
- If you have a personal problem, go somewhere quiet and hug a stuffed animal.
