Relationships between cousins can be very close and close. Maybe you and your cousin used to be very close, but now have drifted apart because of distance, misunderstandings, or even problems in your family. Whatever the situation, you can get your cousin to like you and make your relationship meaningful to both of you.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Gaining Your Cousin's Trust
Step 1. Call your cousin
Contacting your cousin again is the first step to gaining her trust and getting her to like you. At first, just send messages that are short and simple enough so that your cousins-and you too- aren't surprised or overwhelmed.
- There are many ways to contact your cousin, such as by letter, email, or phone. Social media is also an option: you can make him a friend (again) on your Facebook, or follow him on Instagram. Small actions like this alone can lighten the mood and initiate further communication.
- Start with a simple message like, “We used to be very close. I miss. Maybe we can get in touch more often, if you want.” Messages like this tell your cousin how you feel and give him the opportunity to continue contact.
- Don't mention past problems or any family problems. There is a separate time and place for discussing this matter, and usually both of you will know for yourself when you are ready to discuss it.
- Do not insult or betray him in any way. If you don't have anything nice to talk about, it's probably best to wait until you can treat him with kindness and respect.
- If you don't have your cousin's contact information, check with other members of your family or use a search engine like Google to find their email address or phone number.
Step 2. Be a good communicator
There are two parts to being a good communicator: talking and listening. Talk to your cousin and listen to what he has to say. This will show him that you really want to have a good relationship with him.
- Try to communicate regularly. After you contact your cousin again, keep in touch regularly. This doesn't mean you have to answer messages or calls as soon as possible. Contact once in a while is enough to build trust between you.
- One of the most important ways to earn your cousin's trust is to listen to him. Show him that you care about his problems and interests. For example, if she is having problems with school activities or her friends, listen to her voice and help her find solutions to her problems.
- Sharing secrets can also help you gain your cousin's trust. Just make sure you don't divulge the secret to anyone, as this could lead to another conflict.
Step 3. Be flexible and treat your cousin with respect
Make your cousin feel comfortable and relaxed when you are together. Treating him with respect and being flexible in his demeanor will help you earn his trust and make him like you more.
- Your cousin may have beliefs or values that are different from yours. Respect and appreciate these differences to show that you really want to build a good relationship.
- Treating him with respect includes not insulting your cousin or any of his family members. Making fun of, insulting, or revealing his secrets is also not a respectful act.
Step 4. Meet your cousins at events other than family gatherings
Once you've managed to establish consistent communication with your cousin, you can try meeting them in person. However, it's best to avoid doing this at family gatherings, as events like these can be stressful and make matters worse.
For first meetings, do simple things, like lunch, coffee, movies, or sporting events. Once you've seen each other for a short time, you can start spending more time at each of your meetings
Part 2 of 3: Building a Relationship with Your Cousin
Step 1. Show a serious interest in him
Listen to what he has to say and use the information you get from your conversations in interacting with him. This shows that you really listen to him and care about him.
One of the best ways to show you care is to ask. Your questions can be as simple as “Do you want…” to questions about his education or where he lives
Step 2. Find the similarities
A great way to build friendships with your cousins and make them really like you is to find common ground. This can help you to start interacting with them.
- On the surface, it may seem that you and your cousin don't have much in common. But if you stay in constant communication and find out about him, you're more likely to find a lot in common, from something like a common trait to a common hobby. For example, maybe you both like playing online games or using Pinterest. You can play games with him or follow him on Pinterest.
- If you guys don't have much in common, you can also use this to your advantage. You can show different perspectives on seeing the world, or introduce each other to things you like. For example, if your cousin likes to climb mountains, you can go hiking together. You'll probably like it too, and if you don't, it can still make him like you more because you're open to new experiences.
Step 3. Have lots of chats and laughs together
Chatting with your cousin as often as possible can go a long way in building your relationship. By talking about light and positive things, you will laugh often, and this will strengthen your relationship even further.
- Social media can make it easier for you to keep in touch with your cousins. You can find a variety of ways to keep in touch with them through sites like Facebook and Twitter.
- The high use of mobile phones can also help you send short messages to each other easily. You can send each other traditional text messages or use a free messaging app like Viber or WhatsApp.
- Conversing via online video, using apps like Skype or FaceTime, can also make it easier for you to keep in touch in a much more personal way.
- Remember to stay positive and respectful. Don't insult or hurt her on purpose. If you accidentally hurt her, apologize immediately.
Step 4. Do fun things together
Spending time together in fun and varied activities can not only build your relationship, but also build mutual trust.
- Making your cousin laugh can help make him like you. Everyone likes people who make them feel good.
- Be flexible. You may not like all the activities your cousin suggests, but being flexible can help build your relationship. Your cousin should also respect your choices.
- Make sure you spend time together outside of family gatherings. Family events like this can be stressful and bring unexpected problems to your relationship.
Part 3 of 3: Keeping in touch with Your Cousin
Step 1. Keep in touch
Maybe sometimes you can't keep in touch or see each other with your cousins. This is normal, but sending a simple message like “Hi, I hope you are doing well” can make her feel like you still care about her.
- Keep in touch with your cousins through sites like Facebook or Twitter.
- Call him or message him. You can send traditional text messages or use messaging apps like Viber and Whatsapp.
- Conversing via video online, using apps like Skype or FaceTime, can also make it easier for you to keep in touch in a much more personal way.
Step 2. Continue to show that you care
Apart from keeping in touch, you also have to show that you care about your cousin. There are many simple ways to do this, from remembering her birthday to offering help with a problem.
- Remembering your cousin's important dates can help maintain your relationship. Record birthdays, wedding anniversaries, and even important upcoming events, so you can send congratulations when the day comes.
- Offering to help your cousin when she has a problem can also show that you still care about her. This can be as simple as helping look after her baby or helping her shop when she needs to buy new clothes.
Step 3. Keep your relationship positive and respectful
There are ups and downs in a relationship, but by keeping your attitude positive and respectful, you will be able to maintain your relationship for the long term.
- You may sometimes feel negative emotions in your chats or interactions with your cousin. You should try to handle these situations calmly and respectfully, then forget about them.
- Avoiding family problems can help you keep your relationship with your cousin positive and respectful.
