While it's easy to think of your lover as a soulmate, it's hard to know for sure. To find out if you're serious about him, and if he deserves to be your soulmate, read these tips and strategies.
Step
Method 1 of 4: How You Feel About Him
Step 1. Notice that you feel like Wonder Woman when you are with her
He should make you feel like a superhero. You should feel like you can be anyone and do anything when you're with him. You should not be afraid of challenges in life because they make you believe that you are strong enough to overcome them. When you're with him, you should feel as though you're capable of taking on challenges and overcoming them.
Step 2. Make sure you feel comfortable being yourself in front of him
Not only does this mean being the "silly you" that only close friends or family know about, it also means letting him see you unprepared, whether it's without makeup, sweating after a workout, when you're scared, or when you cry.
Step 3. Make sure you don't feel shy around him
Do you feel like you have to hide some things when you're with him? If you feel like you have to hide some things about yourself or your life, then maybe he's not your soulmate. He has to love you just the way you are, and if you're worried that he's criticizing your slightly hairy legs, then maybe he's not your soulmate.
Step 4. See how often you think about future plans
Do you imagine the two of you having fun on a birthday or a holiday that is still far off? Do you fantasize about apartments, houses, pets, or even children that the two of you might have together?
Method 2 of 4: How He Treats You
Step 1. Watch when he says, "I love you
"It's great when he says, "I love you too," after you've said it but it's important that you're not the only one saying those lines. Sometimes he has to say it too. This shows that he's thinking about how much he cares about you. you and that he's not just following the general custom he's expected to do.
But don't worry too much if he doesn't say it. There are men who are very shy when it comes to sharing their feelings. Ask him why he never says it first and tell him you want to hear it. This may make him more comfortable saying it to you
Step 2. Make sure that he doesn't pressure you into getting intimate before you're ready
People who want to enjoy your body before your heart will, obviously don't think about your interests. (And if he can't control his own passions when it comes to sex, it's obvious he won't be able to either start or start a family).
Step 3. Notice if he likes to be in control
If he's bossing around a lot, trying to rule your life, or playing with your emotions to get what he wants, watch out! This kind of guy is insecure and feels he has control over your relationship. Your "soul mate" will feel safe and let you be yourself.
Step 4. Notice if he distances you from his friends
If he refuses to include you in his social plans and avoids telling you about what he and his friends did last night, it's clear that he doesn't want to include you in his life and may even be planning something dishonest.
Step 5. Notice if he mentions your future
If neither of you are in the stage of a relationship where you're openly discussing future possibilities, watch if he's making any hints. Even trivial things like asking what the two of you are going to do for an event in a month or two are good signs.
- If he's applying too soon (for example, before a year), take some time to analyze why he's in a hurry. If you are inclined to agree, offer a long engagement period to be sure.
- If he definitely doesn't want to discuss the future together, even after a sufficient amount of time (say a year), he probably isn't thinking about it.
Method 3 of 4: How You Treat Him
Step 1. See if you remember her birthday, your anniversary, and the days that are important to her
This is one way to determine if he matters in your mind when he's not around you. Make room for someone in a different life by thinking about him or her all the time in your mind.
Step 2. See if you compliment him when he's not at his best
Do you feel attracted to him even though he has food residue on his teeth or when you see his unruly hair? Or do the ups and downs of your attraction depend on how well he takes care of himself for you?
Step 3. See if you are excited to include him in your life
The desire to compliment him on his friends and include him in your family is a great sign of trust. On the other hand, if you are unsure about a relationship, you may be subconsciously looking for excuses not to introduce or talk about him or her to family and friends.
- Do you include him in family plans, such as inviting him to join you on your family vacation (or can you even assume that he will accompany your family without needing an invitation)?
- Do you want to help him bond with his family (or even support him) because it's important that his family likes you?
- Would you suggest that she call your mother if she needs advice on cooking, cleaning, etc.?
Method 4 of 4: How You Two Work Together
Step 1. Watch how you change each other
As humans, we often change when we are with other people (especially someone we care deeply about). Sometimes we change each other for the better but sometimes it can also be the other way around. You have to determine if you are influencing him in a positive way and he is influencing you in a positive way.
- Do you feel that any of you are becoming possessive, jealous, distrustful, lazy, or constantly feeling depressed? This may be a sign that he is not the person you want to be close to. They may not be the right person and you won't like the way you change if you stay with them.
- Do you feel like you inspire each other to be better people? Do you try harder in life and for yourself when you are with him? Did he do the same? Are you making each other kinder and happier people? If so, then this is a healthy relationship and you will improve the quality of life for each other.
Step 2. Think about how he lived his life
Does it match your expectations for the future? Does he have the same life values as you? For example, if you recycle trash but he throws trash through his car window, will this relationship work?
Step 3. Watch how you both say that you both care
Does he feel comfortable letting you see his soft side? Do you openly tell him you love him, even going so far as to say things like, "I love you so much," or start with, "I love you more"?
Look for discrepancies between what was said and what was said. We are often so blinded by someone who becomes poetic about love that we don't see if they have done anything to support it. At the same time, we may be so frustrated by someone who isn't acting poetically that we ignore all the thought and affection cues they have made. Think about whether you both fall into one of these categories
Step 4. See if you feel comfortable in your partner's place
It is often said that living together is the true test of compatibility. A relationship that takes place in a restaurant and a garden may be wine and roses, but sharing a meal, seeing each other shave, and tripping over dirty clothes can dispel that beautiful illusion instantly. If you live together, how well do you compromise on individual and collective responsibilities? If not, do you at least have each other's keys to your spouse's residence? And if so, how well did you feel?
Step 5. Ask yourself if you have a comfortable balance of spending time together and apart
Having your own separate interests will make the relationship more interesting and help you both maintain your own healthy, independent character. If the relationship is on the right track, you will feel comfortable and safe even if the two of you are apart.
Tips
- Be patient. Don't let him take over your body. If he doesn't respect that, then things can get out of hand.
- Get to know him at his worst. If you can accept that as a part of him then maybe he can become your soulmate, but don't get into a relationship with the thought of changing certain aspects of him, because that will only create stress and friction in the relationship.
- Get to know him. Try asking some simple questions. See if the two of you have much in common.
- Most importantly, trust your gut. Pay attention to how you feel and why. Are you in a hurry? Is there something holding you back?
- Watch him when he is around parents, siblings, and older people in his life. Does he respect and appreciate them? Watch him when he is around his father, does he love and respect his father's choices? Is it the same with the women in his life?
- Don't give him all your attention. If he needs all your attention and feels displeased or "sticky" when you don't serve him, recognize this as a warning of potential trouble.
- Being close friends will make a good relationship. It's important that you listen to each other and compromise on the situation without creating too much of an argument.
- Take the time to get to know your partner, find out what he likes and doesn't like. Make him feel like he's your top priority.
- If he tells his friends about your relationship then this is a good sign. This usually means that he is not ashamed of you, or even proud of you. If he keeps your relationship a secret, then maybe he's not your soulmate.
- Tell him that you like/love him and will always be loyal to him.
- Don't expect to be able to talk or see each other every day. But it only takes a minute to text or call, which reassures your partner that you're thinking of him or her.
- Don't demand that he give you his full attention. Doing so runs the risk of holding him back and pressuring him to stay away from you.
- Pay attention to how he reacts when things don't go his way. Does he handle his emotions well?
- Make sure that you get to know his family well, because after all, they already know him.
Warning
- If he maintains a friendly relationship with his ex-girlfriend but refuses to respect your boundaries and feelings on the matter, then he doesn't think you are important enough to change his relationship with his ex-girlfriend. (But remember, ultimatums are not the answer! If he has a good relationship with his ex and you make unreasonable demands about how often he can talk to his ex, then you may have convinced him that he was with the wrong person.).
- If he's doing something you don't want to tell your closest friends, then ask if you're being honest with yourself. If your close friend told him that his boyfriend did the same thing, what would you tell him to do? Dump him? Talk to him? Calm down? Be honest with yourself and take care of yourself like a good friend.
- If he makes a major decision (such as changing careers or moving to a new city) without including you, then he doesn't see you as a permanent part of his life.
- When you say, "I love you deeply, deeply, and deeply," and then he hesitantly replies, "Yes, I love you too," then maybe his feelings aren't as strong as yours for him.
