It's scary asking a girl out, but don't worry, everyone has experienced it. When you're ready to ask him out in person or by text, remember to be candid, ask him to do something specific, and be confident. If you want to gauge his level of attraction first, try flirting a little and pay attention to his body language. You can know a lot without him knowing. Whatever the answer when asked out on a date, be proud of yourself for having dared to take the step.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Inviting Directly
Step 1. Plan what you are going to say to make yourself more confident
The plan will help you get your point across clearly so there are no misunderstandings. He needs to know that your request is romantic, not just a casual friend. There's no need to repeat verbatim like a scenario, but the preparation of ideas will make you more comfortable. Here are examples of words you can use:
- “I have tickets for Raisa's concert in August. You want to watch it, be my date?”
- “You want to go to the new bookstore, and have coffee afterwards?”
- I wanted to take you out to dinner next weekend. How about we try that new Thai restaurant?”
- If you're shy, just take advantage of that fact. You might plan something like, "You know I'm shy, so it's really awkward for me, but I want to say that I think you're a nice person and have a great sense of humor. Do you want to play mini golf next Sunday?”
Step 2. Wait until you're pretty sure he's in a good mood
If you see him looking sad or angry, it might not be the right time. Try approaching her after something good happened, like when she got a good score on a test or got the job interview she wanted.
Asking out on a date is scary. To calm anxiety, set a deadline and make a commitment to do it before that date. Once you start chatting, it will only take you a few minutes to invite her
Tip:
If he just broke up, you might be tempted to just approach him and ask him out now that he's single. However, it will most likely take him a while to get used to it. Give him a few weeks before you ask him out. Meanwhile, offer friendship and an ear to listen if he needs to talk.
Step 3. Speak when he is alone so there is no audience
If he's with a group of friends when you're out on a date, he may be shy or unable to talk openly because he's uncomfortable with people watching. Plan a comfortable way for both of you to talk one-on-one.
- You can offer to take him to the next class.
- You can ask him to wait after the meeting because there's something you want to ask.
- You can also send a text message to ask to meet somewhere.
Step 4. Look her in the eye and try to speak as clearly as possible
Once you're face-to-face and you're ready, take a few quiet breaths. Smile, make eye contact, and stand up straight. Don't stoop, look down, or mumble. Remember, you only need to say two to three sentences.
- If you're nervous, practice what you're going to say in the mirror a few times.
- You can also record this exercise. Then, play the tape to see how it turned out and make the necessary changes. Do you say "umm" a lot or take frequent pauses? Keep practicing until your words sound natural.
Step 5. Take him out
Once you've got his attention and talked to him, all you need to do is take a deep breath and ask calmly. Say, “Would you like to try that new coffee shop this Sunday?” or “I want to get to know you better. How about this weekend we take our dog for a walk?”. Remember, you have to be candid and confident.
- If you want to do something a little romantic, consider sending flowers to her house. Then, call him and say, “I hope you like the flowers I sent. How about we go out this weekend?”
- You can also do something different, like send pizza home with a note that says, "This is a little cheesy, but I want to eat with you this Sunday night."
Step 6. Respond positively, whatever the answer is
In the best case scenario, he will and you can set up a date. If you get rejected, it's only natural that you'll be a little disappointed. Try not to be down, think "not the right time, not the right person", and continue living as usual.
- Don't try to convince him that he made a mistake. He knows what he wants. If you want to make him do something against his will, he will feel uncomfortable.
- Try saying, "Okay, that's okay, I'm glad at least I brought you along and I'm not curious anymore. See you." Say it sincerely and try to smile, don't sound sarcastic.
Method 2 of 3: Using Text Messages and Social Media
Step 1. Use text messages or social media if that's how you usually communicate
Many dates are arranged via text, DM, social media, and similar platforms. When you've decided you want to ask a girl out, choose the communication method that you feel is the most normal.
Remember that the words via the text must be very clear so that the recipient does not misunderstand
Step 2. Select the activity to do before sending the message
Instead of a vague invitation to “get out” or ask what his plans are for the weekend, choose a fun activity that both of you will enjoy. So he can respond, and you won't be confused about what to do if he says yes. Here are great first date ideas to try:
- Play arcade games or mini golf
- Go to coffee shops and used bookstores
- Planning a movie marathon
- Visit an exhibition or festival for free
- Volunteer at a local animal shelter to play with the animals there
- Making pizza and doing puzzles together
Tip:
Take him in advance if you want to do activities that require tickets. It's a mess if he can't leave in time or if the tickets are sold out.
Step 3. Make sure your message is short, sweet, and specific
Send a simple message, like, “Hi Kiki, I think you're cute. Want to go to the mall and eat something good this Friday?” Saying he's attractive is a sign that the message is romantic, not a message from a casual friend.
- Remember to suggest specific activities. For example, “Would you like to go on a date with me this Saturday? We can have dinner and go to the movies” sounds much more romantic than, “Want to go out this weekend?” The second message can be misunderstood.
- Text messaging isn't the only option. You can use DMs on social media apps or send cool videos via Instagram or Snapchat.
Step 4. Accept the answer and reply quickly if he refuses
If you get rejected, don't wait too long to reply. You can say, "Okay, that's okay. I'm just inviting. I think you're still cool, until we meet again." Being rejected is bad, but it's normal and doesn't mean you're not good as a person. Maybe this isn't the time.
If rejected, rest assured that at least now you know. You no longer have to wonder what could have happened, and it means practice to ask another girl out one day
Tip:
If he says no, respond positively and calmly. When you see him again, greet him and smile so he knows that there is no hurt.
Step 5. Make plans for a first date if he accepts
Of course you hope to get a positive response. Clarify the details of the date, mark the calendar, and please congratulate yourself that everything has been smooth so far.
Before or on the planned day, text again to say you're looking forward to the date
Method 3 of 3: Measuring His Interest Level
Step 1. Find out if he already has a girlfriend or is interested in someone else
Maybe you already know about this, but if you haven't, this info will be very helpful in deciding when or if you should ask him out. Pay attention to who he often talks about. If the person wasn't his usual friend, there might be some interest there. Check his social media to see if there are any clues.
You can also use this opportunity to get to know him better, such as asking, "Tell me about anyone you've dated" or "Was your last relationship going well?"
Step 2. Notice if he steals glances at you
When someone stares at you a lot, it usually means they're interested. Especially if he's a friend of his own, stealing glances is an indicator that he has other feelings for you.
If you don't see him stealing glances, it doesn't mean he isn't interested or that you shouldn't be asking him out. It's just one way to tell if his feelings for you have gone from being just friends to being more special
Step 3. Observe his body language to see if he is interested or not
Does he approach you and stand or sit near you? Did he touch your arm or shoulder? These signs don't necessarily mean that he likes you romantically, but shows that he's happy to be with you. This means that he is comfortable around you and likes you as a person. That's a good sign!
- You're much more likely to accept your date if he likes you as a person.
- On the other hand, if he shies away, doesn't make eye contact, or walks away when you're around him, it's a clear sign that he doesn't want to spend time with you.
Step 4. Seduce him a bit to see his response
Look into her eyes longer than usual, and smile. Gently touch the arm or shoulder to make physical contact. Compliment his appearance and intelligence.
To compliment a girl, you can say, “That sweater makes your brown eyes look even more beautiful” or “Your presentation today was great. If only I could speak in front of a crowd like you.”
Message Sending Tips:
If you're flirting via text, try saying, "Every time my phone rings, I hope it's from you."
Tips
- If you're asking a girl out on a date in person, be sure to brush your teeth and wear clean clothes to make you look and smell good.
- If you want to get to know him better, use open-ended questions.
- Don't be afraid to show your unique personality. Being yourself is the best way to attract others.
- If you get rejected, don't ask why. It will make him uncomfortable and you will come across as pushy. Just leave it be and accept the answer.
