You've seen the signs, and your mind is putting the pieces together. Your partner often comes home late or often works late. When your partner gets home, after a quiet dinner, he immediately goes to the internet and stops your questions for the odd reason… If you're worried that your loved one is behaving strangely and you want to know what he's doing, article it contains several ways that can help confirm your suspicions.
But before you rush into this process, take a few days to think about what you would do if your worst suspicions were eventually proven correct. Will you remain committed to your partner and will not end the relationship, regardless of the outcome of your investigation? If so, it's probably best to just turn a blind eye to his hidden actions and save yourself the heartache of knowing all the details. Is your suspicion that your partner is cheating on you basically a sign that something fundamental needs to be fixed in your own relationship, and that you are trying to find reasons to end it? If so, your relationship is on the verge of breaking down, and it's best if you focus your attention and efforts on saving it, or ending it altogether.
If you find yourself deciding to investigate anyway, be prepared to face the results, for better or for worse.
Caution: Some acts of “spying” on your spouse may be criminal acts in your jurisdiction. Know the applicable laws and regulations before you do so.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Catching a Cheating Spouse on the Phone
Step 1. Let your fingers do their job
The telephone is a very common communication channel used in all of our lives, and has become more and more common with the times. So, it can be assumed with some certainty that this secret romance will also take place over the phone, in addition to any form you can imagine for yourself.
Step 2. If you have a regular fixed line, tapping the phone is easy
- Take the spare phone to another room in the house (which he rarely goes), and connect the cord to the telephone line. Unscrew and remove the mouthpiece of the phone before plugging it in, so you won't hear your own voice when you're eavesdropping.
- When you hear him exclaim, “I'll just pick up the phone, honey” (since you already know it's the lover on the phone), enter your “war room” and carefully lift the receiver from its position. Don't pick it up too slowly, as moving the buttons on the phone can make a "click" sound that will catch your eye.
Step 3. Press the “Record” button (“Record Now”)
If you're pretty sure that your beloved soon-to-be ex-spouse won't linger on the phone while you're around but he won't be able to resist the temptation to secretly call for a while when he thinks you're not watching, or that he is the type of lover who “must” hear his lover's voice before going to bed while imagining his lover, recording his voice is the right action. If you have a plan in place, you can tap into his conversation as he acts as Don Juan.
If you have a smartphone or a cell phone that has a voice recorder feature, place the earpiece of the phone close to the phone's microphone, and record the flower-filled chatter for future use. If it's been proven that he's having an affair, and you have the evidence you need, don't wait any longer. Go over to this loser with his toothbrush and travel bag, and kick him out without giving him any more sweets. However, if it turns out that the conversation on the phone was just a friend telling him about a bowling alley reservation for Thursday, bring him his favorite treat with an added sweet touch, while smiling at him
Step 4. Use a baby monitor
This is an inexpensive and low-tech way to intercept conversations. Of course, if you don't currently have a baby, this can be a bit difficult, but you can do it anyway. Just wait until your partner goes "shopping" one day, and visit the nearest electronics and appliance store. Purchase a simple baby monitor, a can of spray paint that can disguise the monitor's transmitter in position, and a roll of tape of a similar color (to cover the LED light on the device, if you have one).
- Spray the transmitter part (baby/secret part) with paint. Coat the microphone hole with a cover before painting it, so that the microphone is not covered with clumps of paint, and do not spray the car excessively. You certainly don't want the smell of paint to fill the entire house.
- Go into the room you suspect will be a place to chat while whispering tenderly with his mistress, and set the monitor transmitter in a hidden position that will not be seen by him. Behind the books, or behind the couch, or if you really don't know the room it's going to be in, just set it up in the bedroom or in the bathroom.
- Turn on the monitor's transmitter, and place a small radio set at a volume that mimics the sound of human whispers and giggles in the room. Enter your secret room, then turn on the receiver. Can you hear the radio sound clearly? If you can, this means you are ready to tap. If not, make various adjustments until you can clearly hear the signal from the monitor's transmitter.
- When the phone rings, and your partner says, "I have to answer it, it's work…", simply answer, "Okay, honey, I'll be waiting in the reading room while I browse the internet looking for…" (say whatever, because after he hears you say “Okay, honey”, he will get too excited to actually hear what you have to say). Enter the secret room, turn on the receiver's monitor from the monitor, turn on the recording device (in cell phone or cassette or whatever you have), and listen to the conversation unfold. If what you're hearing matches your suspicions, order a taxi, and drive the spouse out of the house without coming back. Of course, if you just hear, “Okay, I'll have that work report ready tomorrow, sir, and I… Sorry, hold on a minute, sir. What's this? Transmitter?” You'd better go in that taxi, because you're bound to make him angry with what you've done.
Step 5. Record digitally with a digital recorder
There are various forms of digital recording devices, such as pens, computer flash disks, or even imitations of telephone sets that can be activated automatically if there is sound. This means you can choose whichever shape you think fits, and put it in a location where you suspect your partner will be making out on the phone. When that happens, these electronic spies will immediately act, like traps made of iron. Check the footage from this trap at a safe time, and good luck!
Step 6. Break trust and spy on your partner's private communications
Direct access to your cheating partner's cell phone can reveal a lot, especially his text messages and tweets on social media. His close friends usually speak the truth and advise him according to their opinion. You may also find the text messages your partner sends, which will be more useful than the text messages he or she receives. Regular checkups will help you find out how the affair is progressing. Be wary of using pseudonyms, because if a text message arrives at odd hours, the pseudonym won't reveal anything.
- Check your partner's email. Another way to regularly communicate with your lover is through email or online chat. What if every email or online conversation your partner had was sent to you and you read? A computer program called “remote spy software” (“remote spy program”) can save all emails, conversations, instant messages, website visit history, and keyboard key usage, then automatically copy all this stored information and send it to your computer. your email address.
- Unless your partner is always acting extra cautiously, you can also check his computer or cell phone when he's not around, and then look at his website visit history, recently installed programs, and other small things that lead to signs of infidelity. This could be, for example, a short email conversation to plan the next meeting to make love, or a history of “hot” online conversations.
- People who are having an affair tend to immediately try to prevent you from seeing their emails, by setting a password and saving the email with a different title. To access it for the first time, you can try using the password he usually uses as a first step. If that doesn't work, do a search with “Google” to find a computer program that can easily hack passwords.
Method 2 of 3: Using Other Ways to Spy on Your Partner
Step 1. Use whatever tools you have
You can take advantage of inanimate objects, because they won't be able to talk and leak your secrets! For example, there are hidden cameras in the shape of everything you can imagine! These cameras are so invisible that you won't even be able to see the camera hidden within the object form. The forms of these hidden cameras vary from wall clocks to indoor plants to table lamps.
Step 2. Install the GPS device
Track your partner's recent suspicious movements, using a GPS tool. This tool can show the route of the car it uses, and the duration of the car staying at each location point. The next time he says, "I'm going to be working late today, honey," you can immediately respond, "Wow, Motel 88 must really like you!"
Step 3. Calculate the distance traveled
An inexpensive alternative to a GPS device is to jot down numbers on his car's odometer and calculate the distance he has traveled before and after he goes to work. Does this mileage correspond to the distance from home to work and vice versa? Differences in the numbers on the odometer can raise target questions, helping you to find out what actually happened.
Step 4. Pay special attention to your partner's friends
Who did he see the most? Who does he contact the most? Are these people also your friends? When you meet these people, be aware of your bad feelings when talking to them. Don't ask your friends right away. You certainly don't want them to be forced to side with one of you or your partner. What people "don't say" is actually as important as what people "say".
Step 5. Study the phone usage history
If your call history is locked, you can view it online with your phone service customer account. You do need a password to access this information. but chances are this password was in use long before the affair took place, so you may already know or be able to guess the password. Observe the frequency and time of each phone call. Are these two factors increasing, constant, or decreasing? Knowing these things will help you understand the development of the affair.
Step 6. Observe changes in behavior
Changes in interests and tastes in dress, appearance, weight gain or loss, cold and distant demeanor, harsh speech, refusal to talk about future plans, withdrawal from you, lack of desire for sex and for express affection everyday (which is easier to see). Monitor all these changes. Are each of these increasing or decreasing? The changes will give you clues.
Step 7. Find the secrets
Step 1. Catch your partner red-handed
If you truly believe that your partner is cheating on you but still find no evidence and only have hunches even after tapping his phone and monitoring his e-mails and movement history, you need to make a very important decision in terms of how far you are willing to go to find out about your partner's fidelity.
- Ask yourself honestly why you don't trust your partner. Do you have any particular reason, real or imaginary, to believe that your partner is being unfaithful? This doesn't have to be a valid reason or evidence, but do you have anything more than feelings or suspicions? It is common for a person to believe that his partner is being unfaithful based solely on the circumstances he twists into evidence, which he needs to justify his own feelings or suspicions or insecurities.
- If your partner seems to have decreased desire for you, this doesn't necessarily mean he's having an affair. Working late or hanging out with friends can also mean that's all. Couples who have been in a relationship for a long time also tend to forget the reason they fell in love because it was eroded by the pressures of everyday life and because humans can get used to each other as time increases together, so they no longer appreciate each other's existence properly.. Moreover, sometimes people can become addicted to work, and your partner may seem "married" to his new job or business, so he rarely thinks about spending time with you.
Step 2. Have the right assumptions
If you think that you really deserve to be suspicious of your partner, start by assuming that he or she must be doing everything he can to stay unnoticed.
- He won't email from the home computer, or call from the landline.
- He won't say he's going to work late to meet his girlfriend at the hotel, because this runs the risk that your phone call will go unanswered and someone else will see her leave work early.
- He will carry out all the normal routines and activities, and use that time to have an affair. Sexual infidelity doesn't take much time or commitment. Two cheating people just need to meet each other in a parking lot, get into a car, then head to their “room” at a hotel and make love for half an hour, then come back in time for shopping. He may even have proof of purchase that matches his shopping location. So, if you really intend to find out the truth, do the following:
Step 3. Prepare the trap
Have a good camera with a zoom lens, and attach a GPS device to your partner (on his clothes, bag, etc.) or on the vehicle he or she uses. Hide the recorder that automatically activates if there is a sound behind the bed. Then, plan a trip out of town for two to four days, and share your travel plans with your partner.
Don't be shy, create the impression that you're really going out of town by telling the details of your trip, when in fact you're only going to secretly stay at a hotel on the outskirts of town. (If your partner wants to know the details of your trip, make a reservation with the relevant parties, show proof of reservation to your partner, but cancel at the last minute and stay close to your home location.)
Step 4. Go
Go on a bit and call your partner from the airport, as well as when you should be arriving at your destination. Do this with your phone, so you can claim to be in any location. Tell him that you have to work late and won't be able to call him that night.
Step 5. Monitor the movement route on your partner's GPS, and if your partner is away from home for a considerable period of time, go to that location and observe from afar
- Follow your partner (a good option is to use a rental car). But if you're prone to excessive temper tantrums on the road or tend to act without thinking about the consequences, think twice before deciding to do this.
- If your partner continues to return home as usual, park by the side of the road and observe what happens.
Step 6. Repeat as needed
Use the camera if necessary. Check the recorder, just in case you missed something important.
If you need more time, call your partner in the morning when you are due to come home, and apologize to him for having to stay another night
Step 7. If you find something, you can go home with the evidence
Otherwise, don't overdo this trick trip. Whatever happens, don't linger on this investigation. You should confront your partner with evidence, or clear your suspicions so that the relationship between the two of you can change, improve, or end as needed.
After Discovery
Step 1. Face the consequences of your discovery, whatever it may be
It's not fun if you find out that your partner is cheating on you. In fact, it is very likely that this incident will completely destroy your life, because the foundation of your personal life is completely shattered. Furthermore, you may become self-loathing because of the ways in which you investigate the truth. Above all, this discovery process is very painful and can leave you feeling very painful.
Step 2. If you have positive and concrete evidence that your partner is cheating on you, you now have every right to feel devastated and unhappy
But actually, it's better that you know it than not. Eventually, you will come to understand that even though all of this is a traumatic experience, there is someone else who deserves to be with you and that person is definitely not your partner. Ask for support from friends, family, and perhaps your doctor or counselor, to help you work through these difficult times. Deciding to keep or separate from your partner is an area to be explored on your own, with the support of those closest to you to keep you strong. Maybe you can benefit by starting to read an English book called “How To Mend A Marriage after An Affair”.
Step 3. If you find no evidence that your partner is cheating on you, you now have no reason to distrust him
Or, if you think that your partner has managed to act very discreetly and keep his affair a secret, at least you understand how easy it is to do various ways to catch cheating spouses in the near future (which will probably happen in the not too distant future). However, you must really make sure that your ongoing suspicions are worth continuing, because at this stage, chances are that you have already destroyed the trust that had been built between you and your partner in this relationship.
Tips
- Never ignore your hunch. At the very least, do a little research to test the instincts you're feeling.
- Purchase a sperm test kit to check underwear. Understand that by doing this, you are almost certain to destroy the trust in the relationship once and for all, as this is a very personal attack on your partner's privacy.
- If you ask where your partner is and he answers it while touching his face in any way, this means he may be hiding something.
- Joke about the situation of cheating spouses, to see how he reacts.
- Use your senses. You need to approach your partner when he or she is returning from a secret meeting. Use your sense of smell. A different scent could mean that she's using a shaving lotion with a new scent or a new perfume.
- Be wary if your partner buys a new phone. You should be even more wary if this purchase was made without telling or explaining it to you, and if he hid his new phone (then you found it). Other suspicious signs, for example, are the sudden appearance of a security code (PIN, password, etc.) on the cellphone or computer, or setting the cellphone in a position not to ring at all times.
- The process of receiving and sending so many text messages outside of their usual time is a sign that something is going on.
- Does your partner suddenly work overtime a lot, regularly or irregularly, or do you go on business trips more often? This is also one of the possible signs of an affair.
- Search his car every day for several days in a row. Look for unusual objects or things. This can be anything you can find, from a coffee cup from a fast food restaurant to a torn condom tip.
- If you feel that your partner has been cornered and is starting to get nervous about being caught, don't stop. Keep the uncomfortable conversation going. Your partner may reveal his secrets from time to time, or get really angry with you if you turn out to be completely wrong in suspecting him or her.
- Any sudden changes in appearance (weight loss, new hairstyle, new clothes, etc.) can be one sign that complements the other signs. However, be warned, everyone will experience minor crises throughout his life and may try to deal with them by changing or improving their appearance in various forms. Changes in appearance should not be the only sign or evidence of infidelity.
- Keep listening to everything your partner has to say, to find out if at any time he or she “gets loose” (e.g. by mentioning the lover's name in conversation, etc.).
Warning
- Maybe you will not like the results of your investigation. The things you feel you need to know right now may not be the things you really want to know.
- If your suspicions are proven to be just unfounded jealousy with no basis in fact at all, and your partner discovers your covert investigative activities, you are in for serious and possibly irreparable damage to your marital relationship. And even if your partner doesn't know it, you are strongly advised to seek therapy with a psychologist to deal with your jealousy.
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Be aware that the ways you spy using various tools can be considered as an invasion of other people's privacy. Be aware of the laws in your area regarding the use of tools such as these for spying activities. In many cases, the following can be classified as unlawful acts:
- Spying on other people without their knowledge
- Accessing other people's computers without their permission
- Using a computer eavesdropping program. You can choose a well-known computer monitoring program, such as “Micro keylogger”.
