On some occasions, someone may invite you to travel without your parents. An opportunity like that is a big event and is a sign that you are mature, more responsible, and moving into an adult person. However, your parents may see it differently and be hesitant to let you go. Therefore, you should try to convince them to let them go. By doing the basics of making a request, gathering information about the trip, and finding the perfect time to have a conversation, you'll have a better chance of getting parental consent.
Step
Part 1 of 4: The Basics for Making a Request
Step 1. Show the best attitude
The best basis for submitting your application is to make sure you show your best attitude in the days or weeks leading up to the event. If you behave well, your parents will have a more positive view of you and will likely grant your request.
- Be good at school.
- Obey the curfew.
- Do chores at home.
- Don't argue with your parents.
Step 2. Show you are responsible
By showing your parents that you are responsible, they will trust you more in the future. Therefore, always remember to act responsibly so that you appear as a responsible person in the eyes of your parents.
- Don't break the law. For example, do not join in drinking alcohol because it is still a minor.
- Avoid friends who are irresponsible or tend to get into trouble. For example, if your best friend is constantly breaking the curfew or is being punished frequently, your parents will consider you irresponsible because of the association.
Step 3. Don't lie
In addition to responsibilities and good behavior, you need to build a track record of being honest with your parents. If you ever lie, your parents probably won't believe the real explanation you gave about the trip.
- Tell your parents where you went and who went with you. If you tell them that you're staying over at your friend's house, but actually you went to a party on the beach 160 kilometers away, and they find out, then they won't believe you.
- Stay away from lies that you take for granted. For example, if you're dating someone 3 years your senior, don't tell your parents that that person is only one grade above you.
Part 2 of 4: Gathering Information about Travel
Step 1. Calculate the cost
One of the first things your parents will want to know is the cost of the trip. This is important because expenses that you think are reasonable and small can damage your parents' budget. Therefore, you need to know the total cost and write down everything specifically before approaching your parents. Some costs that usually need to be taken into account:
- Lodging.
- Travel expenses by plane, train, or other means of transportation.
- The money you need to buy food and meet urgent needs. For example, if you are going to go to a concert in Bromo on the weekend, you need to buy a thick scarf. This must be planned.
- Costs for entertainment, for example the price of concert tickets.
Step 2. Create a schedule
Before asking your parents about the trip, make sure you know the detailed itinerary. Without a schedule, it will be difficult for your parents to give you permission to join the trip.
- Show your parents a written schedule, details about when you leave, when you arrive at your destination, and when you come home.
- You should be able to answer specific questions about the schedule.
Step 3. Know who the group leader is
After costs, perhaps the most important thing your parents will want to know is who is the leader of the group. Without an authority or companion, your parents will object to letting you go.
- Show that the companion or figure is someone who has a good reputation and can be trusted. If you go out with your friend's family, show that your friend's parents are trusted people your parents know.
- If you go to a concert at night or something like that without an adult, name the most responsible person as an example that the person looking after the group isn't in trouble. For example, if your friend Alex's 17-year-old brother who is studying at UGM goes with you, tell your parents about it.
- If your parents don't know the adults or group of kids you're traveling with, they probably won't let you go.
Part 3 of 4: Planning the Discussion
Step 1. Anticipate their point of view
Perhaps the most important thing for you to be ready for a discussion is to make sure you have thought about how they will respond. Also, try to be sympathetic and, if you have anticipated their initial views, give them your full attention.
- Accept that it's natural for your parents to worry about you. After doing this, try to think of ways you can respond to their concerns. For example, you might share the fact that your most responsible and successful friend is also on the trip.
- Understand that if you don't have a good track record–if you lie, break a curfew, or get into trouble–it may be that your parents have a hard time granting your request.
- Think about the specific danger your parents focused on. For example, if you want to go rafting on a fast river with your friends, your parents might think you could fall off the boat and hit your head. Anticipate this, do your research, and let your parents know that you've thought about the matter.
Step 2. Choose a good time to ask permission
Timing is one of the most important factors in getting your parents to agree to your request. Therefore, make sure you choose carefully when to ask for permission.
- Don't ask permission when your parents have just come home from work. You don't know what their mood is. Maybe they had a bad day.
- Try asking permission after you've done something good or accomplished something that made your parents proud. For example, wait until you receive a report card with all A grades.
- Try asking permission during a fun, stress-free time. For example, you might be able to ask permission over the weekend during a family picnic.
- Never ask permission after you have a dispute with your parents or get into a problem.
Step 3. Be prepared to answer tough questions
You need to be prepared to answer your parents' serious questions about the trip. Without enough research, you won't be ready to tell the story of the trip, and your parents may think you're irresponsible or not serious.
- If your parents are worried that a boy and a girl will be traveling on the trip, tell them that you will be accompanied and that the boys and girls will have separate beds.
- If the trip is expensive, and your parents can't afford it, prepare an explanation that you will pay for it. For example, tell them that you have hundreds of thousands of dollars in savings from lawn mowing or babysitting, and you will use the money.
- If your parents think you're too young for this type of trip, prepare an example response when you held the same level of responsibility.
Part 4 of 4: Submitting an Application
Step 1. Describe the trip and why it is important
What's important is that you focus on reasons your parents would probably approve of, not on specific reasons that you think are important. Some examples are:
- The trip will bring you an experience that you will remember for life. For example, say something like, "I thought this trip was going to be an experience growing up that I'll remember in the future."
- You will be abandoned and eliminated by your group friends if you do not join.
- The journey will enrich you. Maybe it's an experience you've never had. If you go camping to Ujung Kulon National Park with friends, focus on how you will experience and learn about the unique ecosystem.
Step 2. Promise to keep in touch
A good tactic to use is to promise your parents that you will be in constant contact throughout the trip. That way, even if your parents aren't with you, they won't keep wondering where you are and what you're doing.
- Tell them that you will be calling or texting regularly throughout the day. Maybe you should agree to the contact rules they suggest. If they want to call you every three hours, maybe you should agree.
- Reassure them that you will always try to keep your cell phone battery full and always in your hand. For example, say, "I promise to keep my phone battery fully charged and always carry it."
- Let them know that you've researched the location and there's still a signal for a cell phone connection or other type of communication.
Step 3. Listen to them
Once you've explained the trip and why it's important, you should shut up and let your parents respond. Once they start talking, you have to listen to them. This is important, because you don't know how they will respond without listening.
- Don't interrupt your parents.
- Listen to them instead of answering the response in your mind as they speak.
- Stop before you respond to them. For example, count to three silently before saying something.
Step 4. Respond maturely
Even if you don't like the outcome of their decision, you need to respond maturely. By responding appropriately, you will appear as an adult and be able to take care of your own travels in the future.
- Don't get defensive and act as if their question is a personal attack.
- Don't say things like "that's not fair" or "You never let me."
- When responding to something your parents say, start by saying "I understand Mom and Dad's concerns" and then answer them wisely and respectfully.
Step 5. Accept their decision
Once they have made a decision, you accept it with respect and maturity. By accepting their decision, you show that you are worthy of trust in the future. Maybe next time they will grant your request.
- Show them that you respect the decisions they make.
- If they comply with your request, thank them and promise them that you will do what you say.
- If they refuse your request, say that you understand why, and next time you wish you could better handle their concern.
- Don't even try to go and break their decision. If you are determined to go, you will get in a lot of trouble. You can be punished not to leave the house, not be given an allowance, and other times you will not be allowed if you apply for a similar opportunity.
