Silence is a useful way of communicating, but it can also hurt other people's feelings. When you treat someone by not responding, it shows that they are not in control and that your actions are controlled by yourself, not by others. You can choose silence to ease the problem, but it can also be to manipulate the other person or make him feel powerless. Learn how to properly deal with someone by keeping them quiet for a while and communicating with each other again.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Silencing Someone
Step 1. Know that you can choose silence
Sometimes, words are not something that is needed and not necessarily appreciated. In this case, you should choose silence, instead of saying words that are not useful or even make things worse, let alone hurt other people's feelings.
- Silencing someone may be helpful for a while, but work on dealing with the problem, especially if you feel hurt or wronged. Silence is a temporary solution and should not drag on.
- Don't let other people force you to talk if you don't want to. Say nicely that you prefer silence, for example: “I'm in a bad mood. I better shut up. We'll talk about this another time when I've calmed down.”
- Silencing someone is not a good way to be in a relationship. Problems will persist if you use this method to punish or manipulate someone.
Step 2. Don't talk to him
The best way to silence someone is to refuse to talk to them and not respond to what they are saying, even if they are talking to you. Do not respond to his comments, opinions or accusations.
- If he continues to insist, explain that you don't want to talk to him at this time. For example: "I don't want to talk about this right now." or “I'm still upset. We will talk again later."
- Remember that your reaction can make him angry. He may demand a response from you or refuse to be silenced by being emotional.
Step 3. Ignore any phone calls or messages from him
Another way to silence someone is to ignore them when they call, send emails, messages, and text. Do this if you feel the need to silence someone.
It's a good idea to tell why you're keeping quiet by saying: “We'll talk about this another time. Not now."
Step 4. Ignore the call to talk
This is especially useful if the two of you are with someone else. When he invites you to talk, continue the activity without responding.
- Don't give nonverbal responses. Just ignore him if he's talking by not making any movement, for example: turning his body or turning his face towards him because this will open up opportunities for interaction.
- If he continues to talk, say that you want to discuss the matter once you have calmed down. For example: when one of the meeting participants continues to discuss the same topic, say: “Thank you for providing the information, but there are other issues that need to be discussed. How about we cover this topic some other time?”
Step 5. Avoid places he usually goes
So that the two of you don't see each other, don't go to the place he usually goes, choose a different route, or come to the place at a different time. You need to keep your distance to calm your feelings and avoid interacting with them.
If you both work at the same place, don't eat lunch at the same time. If you're in his class, don't sit next to him. If he lives at home, plan activities so you don't see him while he's home
Step 6. Control your emotions
Expression of anger or sadness can be interpreted as a response. In certain situations, hiding emotions is not easy. However, this method keeps you safe from other people's attacks. So, control your reactions and emotions as best you can.
Control facial expressions and eye contact. Emotions can be reflected through facial expressions. So don't respond with emotional facial expressions or eye contact
Part 2 of 3: Using Useful Ways
Step 1. Avoid conflict
Many people choose silence because they want to avoid conflict. If he keeps talking to you until it sparks a conflict, it's best to keep quiet. This method is not necessarily suitable for dealing with every conflict, but it can be used to deal with certain problems.
For example: if you don't want to argue in public, say: “We can't talk right now. We'll talk more about it when the time is right."
Step 2. Don't throw a tantrum
Going on a rampage is not a useful way for anyone. A tantrum is simply a way of seeking attention or showing influence to direct the situation. Instead of being influenced by other people's negative behavior, just ignore them and don't let them affect your emotions.
If your parents reject your plans while showing anger or your partner behaves badly if you leave, don't be influenced by the current situation by being calm
Step 3. Don't hurt feelings or attack other people
If you're starting to get influenced by another person's words or actions and want to react, take this opportunity to silence him by not saying anything, especially if he's pushing his way.
If he continues to corner you, say: “I don't want to hurt you because of what I said. I'd better keep quiet."
Step 4. Belittle his speech by choosing silence
If he makes fun of you or makes negative comments, don't appreciate what he's saying by responding as a way of showing that you can protect yourself by not letting what he's say affect you. If someone attacks or belittles you, don't defend yourself by attacking back or displaying the same stupidity.
Ignore what he said. Don't be swayed and just forget about it
Step 5. Cope with negative emotions
Quarrel can eliminate rationality so that you vent anger for no apparent reason. If you notice that someone is no longer able to digest logical statements, whatever you say is not a good response for them. Instead of making things worse, you better shut up and give in.
- Sometimes, you can explain or defend yourself, but most of the time, it's best to just shut up and forget what he's saying.
- When you're dealing with a big fight, it's more beneficial to distract yourself so you can listen carefully to what he has to say. Thus, he will return to calm because he feels cared for and heard.
- Control your emotions and don't say things out of anger.
Step 6. Ask if you can calm down
If you're very upset and have a hard time keeping your emotions in check, say that you need to be alone for a while. This way, you can control yourself without making others feel neglected.
For example, you could say: “I want to talk to you about this matter, but I'm feeling emotional right now. How about we meet in an hour for a discussion after I feel more relaxed?”
Step 7. Calm yourself down by choosing silence
Slander or unfair treatment tends to trigger emotions, so you need to learn to calm yourself down when fighting. Choosing silence is one way to calm yourself down, clear your mind, and think logically.
Part 3 of 3: Making Up Again
Step 1. Recognize that keeping someone quiet can damage a relationship
Do not often silence loved ones because it will damage the relationship. Many psychologists think that this behavior is considered a form of violence because you are deliberately punishing another person for his or her actions.
The habit of silencing someone as a way of getting revenge will not solve the problem and will only upset him. If you notice you're behaving this way, talk to him again
Step 2. Focus on the problem
Instead of discussing the emotions triggered by the current problem, focus on the problem itself. Don't be distracted by discussing things he has said that triggers emotions. Discuss important issues and try to find solutions so that the two of you can make up again and build a better relationship.
- When you're ready to make up, say: "If you have time, I'd like to have a chat with you and work out a joint solution to this problem."
- If the discussion starts to get distracted, take the time to write each other's feelings down on paper and then exchange them. This way, both of you can express your emotions without interrupting or distracting each other.
Step 3. Explain your feelings to him
Instead of keeping someone quiet, let them know how you feel about their behavior. Don't use "you" or "you" sentences, but use "I" or "I" to focus the conversation on how you feel, not blaming the other person.
For example: if you are disappointed that your partner is late coming home, say: “I was worried because you came home late and didn't call. I pray that you are safe on the road and wish you a speedy return.” Don't say: "You always come home late and piss me off." The first sentence opens the opportunity for discussion. The second sentence blames others
Step 4. Make a mutual agreement
After you have shared your feelings with each other, have a discussion to determine a solution. Chances are you'll both have to give in a little to come to an agreement.
Before making a deal, first determine the core of the problem in your opinion. After that, discuss various ways to fulfill desires that are beneficial to both of you
Step 5. Listen to the other person, instead of continuing to talk
In order to communicate well, listen to what he is saying and understand his feelings. Conversations will run more smoothly if you feel that you no longer need to silence the other person. Listening to what other people have to say shows that you care, have interest, and value them.
Actively listen to what he is feeling and thinking. Show that you are listening by occasionally briefly conveying what he has to say and following up with him by asking relevant questions
Step 6. Feel free to apologize
Everyone can make mistakes and must be held accountable for their actions if they ever hurt someone else's heart. Admit mistakes if you've ever made the wrong decision. Don't hesitate to apologize if your actions hurt others.
