Are you in love with a married and unhappy man? Maybe you feel that you and the guy are very compatible with each other, only that he is still with his wife. Even though the chances of him leaving his wife are slim, there are steps you can take to help him make the right decision. Remember, you can't make someone leave. The person must do so of his own volition. People change, and maybe get married for the wrong reasons. However, betraying a commitment is wrong, and in fact, it happens every day, and sometimes it might just be better for everyone involved. The end of a relationship is a gift in disguise.
Step
Step 1. Don't have sex with her
Men who are married and cheat on their wives only do it for physical reasons. Realize as soon as possible when he shows that he does not want to leave his wife. This is the reason he cheated on her. If he really wanted to leave his wife, he would do it before sex. If you've had sex with him before, stop. Say that you can't be with a dishonest man.
Step 2. Don't try to convince or manipulate him into leaving your partner
Behavior aimed at convincing or manipulating will not bear fruit in the long run. Make him realize it himself. Even if he makes decisions based on your advice or pressure, he will resent you someday.
Step 3. Think of yourself as the ultimate prize
By not sleeping in the same bed with him, you show that you are worthy of respect and a worthy person to marry. Live your life and pleasure. Let's hope that you and the guy share some common interests, which his wife doesn't like. It makes you attractive to him.
Step 4. Find out about the benefits he gets by keeping his marriage
Even though he was not happy, he still found positive things in the marriage and did not leave the relationship. The benefits he can get could be relationships with his children, money (it is possible that he is afraid to divorce his wife because he will lose half his income and property), emotional support, reputation (he may be happy to be the "head of the family"), the same friends as his wife, someone to do things with (vacation, hobbies), wife's cooking, cleaning of all kinds of things, and many other possibilities. Competing with his wife in doing these things is not important. Don't make the mistake of trying to be a better "wife." Doing so will only drive him away. Know that you can't do anything about the facts above, and you must take the next few steps so that your relationship with him can outweigh the benefits above.
Step 5. Find out about his wife's mistake
Men want to feel masculine. There is a high possibility that his wife did things that made him feel unmasculine, so that he was no longer attracted to her. There are many articles and books that explain this definition. Your task now is to find ways to make the guy more masculine (and also make you more feminine). Admiring his manhood and developing your femininity is important. A wife who gives and works too much, makes all the decisions, tries too hard in the relationship, manages everything in the marriage, and doesn't know how to be grateful for what her boyfriend can give her will start assuming what her husband should do inside. family. That way, the husband will feel bad about himself and look for other places to prove his manhood. That doesn't mean you have to have sex with him though. There's a good chance that he's still having sex with his wife (even if he doesn't admit it to your face), but he's able to do it without feeling deeply for her. Having sex with him will not make him attracted to you. You need to give him everything else he needs to feel masculine and complete.
Step 6. Get to know him better
Making friends and getting him to share personal details is something that takes time and patience. A man's relationship with his wife is much deeper than your relationship with him, so you need a lot of time to form a good relationship with him. He should feel more than just wanting you physically. An emotional connection must be formed between you and him. You need to make him feel safe to share his hopes, dreams, fears, emotions, and insecurities with you, and you also need to make him feel loved. Also, once you've gotten to know him better, you'll probably find things about his character that you might not like, then you can reconsider to see if you really want to be with him or not.
Step 7. Date other men
Don't focus or get too attached to it. Men love to compete. Be careful that you don't tell him too much about your other relationship. He may ask, and you can give a vague answer. However, it's important to know that trying to make him jealous can have more detrimental effects.
Step 8. Don't give yourself the impression that you need him too much
Don't initiate contacts, calls, text messages, emails, etc. Make it come by itself. He needs to do it when he feels the need and has a valid reason. If he's not interested, you can't force him to love you. If you start chasing him and giving him things, it's possible that at first he will accept it all, but over time he will feel unmasculine and withdrawn (just as he feels for his wife).
Step 9. Don't feel jealous or angry with his wife
It's good for you to feel sorry for his wife. That's not his fault. Don't feel insecure about your relationship.
Step 10. Don't be the man's therapist or marriage counselor
Trying to help him leave his wife, or work things out, won't attract him to you. Trying to "fix" the problem is masculine behavior. He had to do it his own way.
Step 11. Don't hit his wife
Telling the man you're in a relationship will only make your partner feel angry and ruin any future you could possibly have. He knows the best way to deal with his wife and must find his own way to leave her.
Tips
- If you and the guy are really compatible, you shouldn't have to do anything about it.
- Remember to make him feel masculine (which he probably doesn't get enough of in a marriage), he has to be both a giver and a chaser, and you just have to sit back and accept everything he gives with gratitude, admiring his strength and manly qualities.
- It's possible that sometimes you misread his signs, and maybe he's actually happy with his wife. If that was the case, trying to seize it would be a disgrace.
Warning
- It is possible that you will feel the need. Be prepared to go and suffer the loss (overcoming grief) if he doesn't leave his wife.
- Find out if you really want a man who doesn't keep his vows or marriage commitments. Dishonesty, lies, infidelity, and lack of integrity are not good character traits.
- His moods may fluctuate and he may walk away from you while thinking of solutions to his problems. Don't feel rejected, just give him some time and space, and make sure that you can accept him well when he comes back.
- If his wife feels insecure, she may try very hard to win back his husband's heart, or even seek revenge. You have to make sure that you are emotionally strong to deal with the reaction.
- A person who cheats on his wife may also cheat on you.
- Most divorces are initiated by women, not men. There is a very high probability that he will not leave his partner. There is a high chance that you will be very hurt.
- Ask yourself why you want a married man. There are many single men out there who share the same interests as you. You can find a lot of men who are compatible with you. Make sure that you are not attracted to him because he is not in a serious relationship. Often, women who have insecurities and self-doubt, childhood trauma, and have been abandoned tend to be attracted to married men. Once he leaves his wife and is free to be with you, it's possible that feelings of attraction to him will fade. Solve your problem before trying it.
- If you really want the man to leave his wife, you have to accept that his wife will always be a part of his life (as the mother of his children or the ex-wife with whom he will continue to have certain commitments). He will always love his wife, and she will always have a special place in his heart. You can't erase the past and you probably won't feel comfortable about it.
- If he really separates from his wife, he will feel very stressed, both emotionally and financially. The reality of the relationship between you and him will not be as easy as you think. He may feel worse after losing money, assets, and friends as a result of the divorce. He may regret the decision.
- You may lose because your reputation will be bad, depending on your social circle and the circumstances of the affair. If he leaves his wife for you, it won't be a secret for long - the word will spread to work, school, as well as the friends who know you, the man, and his wife. You will be judged badly. You have to accept that some people will blame you, even if it's not fair. Be prepared to listen to gossip, rumours, and also deal with relationship breakdowns with other people in your life. The worse or spread the news about the breakup, the more severe the loss you will have to bear.
- If he did divorce his wife, his wife (and children) would be in a lot of pain. Think about whether you will feel guilty. Think about whether you can cope with the long-term effects of having to deal with your kids and ex-wife. There is a high chance that they will resent you for ruining their family.
