People often assume that nerds will have a hard time getting a girlfriend, but they forget that nerds have all the qualities that girls often crave: intelligence, passion for life, and a good work ethic. Learn how to take advantage of these good qualities and get rid of the bad ones to get a girlfriend by reading the suggestions below.
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Method 1 of 5: Make Yourself Captivate
Step 1. Act with confidence
You don't have to be confident but your actions should look confident. This will make people, including girls, take you seriously. Also, as we discuss below, girls find self-confidence very attractive. Why should they like you when you don't really like yourself?
However, don't act like a guy who thinks his actions are never wrong and every word that comes out of his mouth is like a king's decree. Admit when you're wrong, always look for ways to improve, and don't act like you're God's gift to women. Don't act like Captain Hammer. However, try not to be Doctor Horrible either…..at least with all the killings. This can be counterproductive
Step 2. Pay attention to your condition and appearance
Don't fall for the stereotype that nerds don't take care of their bodies. Just like self-confidence, if you don't care enough about yourself to care for it, how can you care for others? Shower and shampoo regularly, wear clean clothes (no holes!), and brush your teeth. Don't let the dragon smell case happen here!
Step 3. Be an extraordinary person
Be Nathan Drake. Be Bruce Wayne. Be Captain Picard. Be a fun person to hang out with, equip yourself with knowledge, and make the world and the people around him better because that's what girls want. You don't have to be the smartest guy, but have knowledge of the world around you. Help people by volunteering time and helping people you know. And open yourself up and do things! Even if it's just going to a science conference, you have to get out there and live life, not just sitting around thinking all day.
- If you want to do something extraordinary and show the world (and the girls) how cool nerds are, do a unique charity work with a foundation like Sahabat Anak. This activity supports a noble cause and shows people that bookworms contribute to society in extraordinary ways and make a positive impact.
- If you really want to get a girlfriend, take a lesson from Patrick Stewart's Great School and respect women. Evidently they really like it.
Method 2 of 5: Getting to Know Girls
Step 1. Try getting to know a new girl
If you want to have a boyfriend, you must first get to know them. And if you're not an expert when it comes to asking girls out, you should probably befriend them before asking them out. The number of girls who are willing to accept a date from someone they don't even know is very small, and that doesn't include girls who have had to deal with bullying their whole life. Try getting to know girls at school, while doing activities (like going to the gym) or attending social events.
Step 2. Look for a nerdy girl
You can be sure, you will want to find a girl who is equally geeky. Actually this is not as difficult as it sounds. They actually exist! You can meet nerdy girls in all the places you normally go: comic shops, local conferences, video game tournaments, and so on. Impress him with your Sonic Screwdriver collection and let him impress you with his ability to crush and humiliate opponents in League of Legends.
Take advantage of the internet to make it easier for you to get to know nerdy girls. Why not give Tumblr a try? Guaranteed to work
Step 3. Find reasons to join the get-together
Once you get to know some girls you find fun enough, find an excuse to hang out with them so you have a chance to get to know them better, and vice versa. The more you hang out with them, the more comfortable you will feel around them.
- If she's a geeky girl, it's not that hard to do: join a community like Garena or Eorlingas, form a group to go to the game, gather friends to go see the premiere midnight show.
- If she's not a geeky girl, you can still easily throw a party, go to the movies, or do something as easy to do as a board or card game (who doesn't love a quartet card game?).
- Do a get-together with the group first. This will make both of you more comfortable, because you can get to know each other and interact without feeling like you're on a date.
Step 4. Get to know him better
Getting to know him better is very important. This shows him that you care about him and his feelings. You'll get topics of conversation and ways to make connections. Of course, getting to know him better involves talking and listening a lot. Ask her about her religion, politics, hobbies, family, where she grew up….and don't be critical or belittle her answers! Respect his opinions and ideas. He will love it.
Step 5. Find something in common between the two of you
If he's a nerd, explore your geek together to find fandoms (very loyal fans) and activities you both enjoy. If he's not a geek, find a way for you to introduce him to things that geeks like that he might like too. Don't forget to have fun with the things he likes, don't just show him the things you like. If she's a girl worth dating, she'll have good taste. Just trust him and let him be your guide to extraordinary things.
- Minecraft or Sims can be easy choices to introduce girls to video games. He might like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Twilight (so introduce him to another good fantasy book or movie). A webcomic might be a great way to introduce him to comics (try Questionable Content, Anders Loves Maria, or Dumbing of Age). And if you want to introduce him to science fiction or nerdy shows, start with Firefly. If that doesn't work, try Doctor Who.
- Don't even try to turn it into 100% nerd. If he can be turned into a true nerd, he can do it himself. Introducing him to things that nerds are interested in is more about giving you the means to adjust your views. But you also have to compromise and find pleasure in the things he enjoys.
Step 6. Be a good friend
You're worried about being only seen as friends. We know. And it might happen. But being friends with a girl, showing her how amazing you are and how much happier she will be with a guy like you, is the best way to find a boyfriend who can keep you happy for a long time.
Be a good friend by providing support when he is going through a difficult time, helping him take his mind off problems, always being there when he needs help, and listening when he needs someone to talk to. Show that you care about his feelings as much as you care about your own
Step 7. Don't act weird
It would be adorable if Link could only say “Hey Huh Yaaah!” but if you can't get the real word out of your mouth you won't look too cute. Open your mouth! Talk to the girl. Don't lurk from the corner of the room, like someone who is just learning programming. And don't stare at his chest all the time. That's a minus score, man.
Also DO NOT act like Romeo and stalk his house, Facebook, or any other “private” space. That's not cool at all, and will frighten him, and kill your chances of getting it
Method 3 of 5: Beating Shame
Step 1. Build your self-esteem
Build self-esteem and confidence if you really want to reduce your shyness. By having good self-confidence and self-esteem, you will feel like you are an amazing person and deserve everything you deserve. There are many ways to achieve this, from learning a new skill to volunteering for a worthy cause.
Confidence and self-esteem are very attractive qualities. Girls will go crazy over guys who believe in themselves and their abilities. Just tell yourself: I'm Han Solo. I will get my idol girl. And I will act first
Step 2. Imagine the worst that could happen
One trick to dealing with shyness is to imagine the worst that could possibly happen; is your life going to end? It's terrible to do things that frighten us or experience things we don't expect, but you're not going to die. In the next few years, you probably won't remember it. Knowing this, try to relax in situations that make you feel embarrassed and have fun.
Be silly when imagining this kind of situation. The silliness of the situation will make you laugh and feel a lot better. Don't have the courage to talk to the girl over there? What's the worst thing that will happen? Well, maybe he's a vampire. Not a sexy vampire like Kristen Stewart but the kind of vampire who will dismember your corpse and use your blood to open a portal to hell so she can unleash her demonic brethren to prey on all of humanity. Do you think it could actually happen? No. There's no way she could be that scary. You will be fine
Step 3. Put yourself in a situation that makes you uncomfortable
As the saying goes, "practice is the root of perfection". Practicing yourself in social situations, such as being around girls, will make you feel much more comfortable over time. Go to various places and engage in social activities that make you uncomfortable, and over time you will prove that you got through all the awkwardness and discomfort and are still doing well.
- Try to attend a party, for example. And don't just be a spectator! Mingle and say hello to people, have a chat with them. The goal is to practice and get used to spending time with girls.
- You can also try the direct plunge method. Take a dance or yoga class. That way, you can not only make girlfriends but also get used to spending time with them very quickly. If your male friends question your masculinity because you do this, just say that you now have the opportunity to spend hours each week hanging out with girls who dress tight.
Step 4. Don't compare yourself to others
Sometimes feelings of shame attack us because we feel the people around us seem better. We think they look better or talk better or act cooler and we don't want to talk or draw attention to ourselves because then people will notice we look geeky or boring or weird. But you are not those people….and they are not you. Believe that you are unique and cool and that you are the only one who can bring extraordinary things to the world.
- For example, that athletic guy looks like he can hook up all the girls? Yes, he also has unpleasant traits. Girls will notice. What else is a girl worth fighting for? They may see the guy as hotter or more handsome, but they will also see that you are smarter and more stable. So don't compare yourself to the guy because in the end the girls will want the qualities you have, not what the guy has.
- Dude, who knows you might become the next Steve Jobs. You will never know. Don't doubt yourself or try to change who you are. You may be depriving people of the opportunity to get their hands on the next generation of iPads by trying to be someone else. And that sure sucks.
Method 4 of 5: Asking Girls on a Date
Step 1. Just invite
In the end, all that matters is asking a girl out. Don't beat around the bush or give the impression that it's not a date. It sounds awful and you feel like you're about to have a heart attack, but if you ask her out and do it with confidence, she's more likely to say yes.
Asking him out on a date in person, rather than through a message or email will increase your points in his eyes. Unless your digital method is really special and epic
Step 2. Deliver your invitation in private, not in public
Sending out a date in a private place instead of a public place can make both of you feel more comfortable. You don't have to worry about being rejected in public and she doesn't feel compelled to say yes (trust me, that's a good thing…she should feel that she has a choice).
Step 3. Look for date ideas before asking her out
Don't ask her out and then have no ideas. This is poor planning and will make you look a little silly. You don't have to come up with a brilliant plan for a first date but you should at least have something in common, like “go to the movies” or “have dinner at a cool place.”
Step 4. Ask a girl who isn't a geek to go on a date
The key to getting a girl who isn't a geek is to make her feel smart, appropriate, and useful. Don't let him make you feel belittled, because that's the reason girls often refuse to date nerdy guys. Don't flaunt your intelligence in his nose (or if you want to show off, act as if you didn't mean to or don't know) and try to show him that he makes you a better person.
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Example of 1 girl who is not a nerd:
"Well, we've been friends for a while and I know we don't always agree, but I'd like to get to know you better. I heard the band you like is playing here next month; how about we get tickets and watch it together?"
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Examples of 2 girls who are not nerds:
"You know, I think you're a really amazing girl. You're kind and smart and I'm really impressed by your hard work to help other people. I'd like to get a chance to get to know another side of you. Shall we stop by the animal shelter this weekend and see if they need any help?"
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Examples of 3 girls who are not nerds:
"You know, you are amazing. Many times I think you are much smarter than me. I want to spend more time with you, we can talk more about the world and your perspective on various things. What do you think? library with me this weekend? We have exams in a bit and I wouldn't mind having a study buddy."
Step 5. Ask a really geeky girl out on a date
It's a little easier, because believe me: she's also looking for a geeky guy to date. Emphasize that you love to be friends with someone who equals (or exceeds) your abilities. Come up with a date idea that you think he'll like and you're good to go.
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Example 1 nerdy girl:
"You know, I think you're absolutely amazing and a lot of fun and I'd love to spend more time with you getting to know you better. The new Video Game Art Exhibition just opened at the museum and I'd love it if you wanted to go there. with me. Maybe we can have dinner afterwards? I'll treat."
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Example of 2 nerdy girls:
"I'm so glad we've all been hanging out a lot lately and I was wondering if you'd like to have some more fun, just the two of us. The comic shop is having a sale this weekend. Would you like to rummage through the bookcases with me and after that we can we have lunch together?"
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Example of 3 nerdy girls:
"Well, we've been out together quite a bit so far and I don't know what you think but I think we had a pretty fun adventure together. Maybe not all the time and all the time, but last weekend at the science conference was absolutely crazy. another adventure with you, if you can. So what do you think: would you like to be my Companion?"
Step 6. Don't worry too much about rejection
Trust me, everyone has been rejected. Not just bookworms. If he refuses, there's no need to be offended. That means she's not the right girl for you. He will not appreciate all the wonderful qualities in you. But just because she's not interested doesn't mean she's a bad girl, just like guys, sometimes girls don't feel compatible either. Again, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with either of you.
Method 5 of 5: Things to Avoid
Step 1. If she's a nerd, don't question her nerd
Don't test his knowledge or treat him like he's lower class just because he hasn't been in the things that geeks do. He enjoys and likes certain things and you enjoy and like certain things and that's okay and you should feel good about it.
Step 2. Never feel that your intelligence exceeds his
He may be just as intelligent or may be smarter than you in some areas. If he's really stupid or incompetent, you certainly don't want to be with him. Respect him, value what he is good at or know about, and give him the opportunity to show you those assets. Never mock his ignorance or be dismissive if he doesn't understand something.
Step 3. Avoid reactive arguments about men's rights
Shouting your sympathies about these ideas only hastens your path to being branded a disrespectful and a jerk. Equality is good, but you have to really put in a lot of effort to understand the whole issue.
Step 4. Don't use seduction
Anyway don't. It will only hurt both of you. Be honest with him and tell him how you really feel.
Tips
- Don't use your boyfriend as your “great trophy”; he would not tolerate it for long.
- Smile, laugh and have fun! People want to being around people having fun.
- If the girl you're after really doesn't like you the way you are, then she doesn't deserve you. There are so many people in the world. Forget about him – he's the loser himself.
- Tell a joke! Girls love to laugh.
- Adopt the idea that “if he's happy, I'm happy too” – even if he rejects you. You will feel the benefits in the long run.
- Don't just be interested in the looks!
- Even if you're a nerd, show a resolute attitude, someone valiant between the pages of a book, this is what girls want.
Warning
- Don't be weird. Don't follow behind. Don't follow him wherever he goes. Don't watch his movements. If he says he needs "space," then you're just one step away from the weird zone.
- Don't be reproachful. As a geek, you might be tempted to show off your wits by showing it to the girl you're after. This action is not effective, in fact it is an annoying technique that will not lead to success in getting a date as well as friends.
- If he's not a geek or a geek, he'll definitely like you even if you're a geek while he's not. This is not as common as pop culture. Realistically, girls who really like and accept you as a geek are usually nerds themselves. So if you're lucky and you get the attention of another type of girl, then she likes another quality in you (let's be positive and assume that she doesn't like you just because you make a lot of money). Don't spoil the situation by trying to change it or forcing him to become a fan. Don't force your interest in nerdy stuff on him. And never assume that deep down inside he must be “one of us” and it just takes time for him to proclaim himself.
