We all know certain people who are sometimes difficult to deal with. There are people who are demanding or like to be rude to others. There are also those who are arrogant or like to do emotional violence. After all, communicating with people like this is quite stressful and the wrong way will only make things worse, not better. The following tips will help you improve relationships with friends, family members, or coworkers who are difficult to deal with, or at least you're ready to deal with them without experiencing a lot of stress and conflict.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Repairing Relationships
Step 1. Be a nice person
Relationships with difficult people can sometimes be improved by being a little nicer to them. Smile and say hello when you meet them. Being friendly doesn't mean being weak.
Humor can sometimes help. You can lighten their mood by telling a joke
Step 2. Give praise
Usually, a person becomes difficult to deal with because they feel unheard, unappreciated, or not understood. One way to improve your relationship with them is to pay attention occasionally to what they are doing well.
Step 3. Do some introspection
If you really want to mend a relationship with a difficult person, try to find out if, or to what extent, your own actions or attitudes contributed to the tension in the relationship.
- Have you ever been rude or did something that hurt the feelings of the person you were having a problem with? If you have, you should sincerely apologize.
- It's also possible that your behavior doesn't convey the message that you want to listen or care about their needs and feelings. In this case, you can improve the situation by changing your nonverbal communication style (such as body language and tone of voice) to show that you are listening, understanding, or not contradicting them.
Step 4. Don't take their attitude personally
If after considering your own behavior and attitudes, it turns out that you are not the cause of their problematic behavior, try not to take their abusive treatment personally. This problem is not because of you, but because of their own attitude.
Nevertheless, be a person who is always compassionate. Keep in mind that their bad attitude towards you may be due to their difficult past. You can improve this relationship by showing understanding, but don't let them abuse you
Method 2 of 3: Engage in Conversation
Step 1. Stay level-headed
Try to remain calm and rational when talking to people who are difficult to deal with, and don't get caught up in an argument you don't want. Conversations will be more enjoyable if you can remain calm and rational.
Think before you react. Even if they are very angry or rude to you, the best way to respond is to remain calm. This is a great way to set your boundaries and get the message across to get them to try to calm down too
Step 2. Try to understand their feelings
As mentioned earlier, many people are difficult because they feel like they are not being heard or not being understood. There are times when a situation can be improved by showing that you listen to what they have to say.
- Let them know that you understand their feelings. Share your perception of how they feel and ask for feedback by saying, for example, "You seem very angry, I'm concerned about how you feel." This attitude can indicate your desire to understand their point of view.
- Ask what makes them angry. You can still show a willingness to empathize by asking them to share their feelings.
- Accept valid criticism. If they're being very critical of you, try to find the truth of their words and acknowledge the validity of their views, even if the criticisms are completely unfair or inappropriate. This will not make them feel challenged even if you continue to point out what was unfair or untrue in their critique.
Step 3. Try to communicate clearly
You must be able to communicate in a clear and open manner. Many conflicts arise because of misunderstandings.
- If you can, try talking to them face-to-face, instead of e-mailing or using other sophisticated tools, to reduce the risk of misunderstandings. Plus, you can empathize with them more.
- If you have to get into a dispute with them, provide written evidence of your views as you speak, then try to lead the discussion to factual arguments instead of just expressing opinions or emotions.
Step 4. Focus on issues, not people
Focus the conversation on the issue or problem that needs to be solved, rather than on the person you're dealing with. Thus, this conversation will not turn into an attack on personal matters and can lead them to a more rational mindset.
This approach can also do more harm than good by showing yourself as a solution bearer who genuinely cares about the problem at hand and wants to change the situation for the better
Step 5. Be assertive, but not aggressive
Try to communicate clearly by expressing your views and ideas about the current situation, but don't ask them to shut up, make them feel unheard, or be rude to them.
- If possible, ask questions instead of making statements. People who are difficult to deal with usually have strong opinions. Oftentimes, you can avoid unnecessary conflict if you can lead them to look for possible errors in their reasons without blaming them.
- For example, asking the polite question "Have you considered this matter?" may be more helpful than saying "Your way of thinking is useless in solving this problem."
- Make a statement with the word "I." When you have to make a statement, say something about you, not about them. They will not feel challenged or attacked with statements like this.
- For example, saying "I've never received an email from you" is less provocative than saying "You haven't sent that email." Similarly, "I feel disrespected by comments like that" is less offensive than "You are very rude."
Method 3 of 3: Keeping Your Distance
Step 1. Decide on an attitude
Sometimes, it is better to leave difficult people to be as they are. Maybe ignoring the scathing comments is better than allowing yourself to be involved in a prolonged heated debate.
Similarly, if a coworker is doing very well on a particular task, it may be best to be tolerant of their difficult behavior. That way, you can enjoy the good things from their positive qualities
Step 2. Limit your interactions
In some cases, the best thing you can do is limit your interactions to avoid unnecessary contact with people who are difficult to deal with.
For example, if this difficult person to deal with is your co-worker, you may at times choose not to attend departmental events for lunch or after-work get-togethers in order to avoid unpleasant interactions with these difficult coworkers
Step 3. Stay away
Sometimes, the best option is to distance yourself from the situation, or even from the relationship. If it can be an option, this method is worth considering.
- The way to deal with a problem with the person you're dealing with for a while is to say: "I can't talk about this right now. We'll resume this conversation when we calm down."
- If you are in a personal relationship with someone who is difficult to deal with, it's best to end it. It can be difficult, but if you've tried to improve the situation and this person won't change, this relationship is not worth keeping anymore.
Tips
- People who respect you or who are close to you are usually willing to change. These are the types of people who deserve to be approached, rather than avoided.
- Think carefully about whether you like to repeat negative attitudes in a relationship. Maybe you don't realize what you've done that makes the other person feel threatened, challenged, confused, or hurt.
Warning
- Be careful if you want to deal with an aggressive bully. Sometimes, the situation can get worse and harm you.
- If the person you are dealing with becomes very aggressive, it may be because no one has ever challenged them before. You'll have to take your stand with the bully, but make sure you're in a safe environment and have other people around you in case their aggressive behavior puts you or others at risk.
